CREDIT: WARNER BROS.
What's better than cute and cuddly fluff balls that turn into witty terrors and hit the town over the holidays?

Not everyone wants to throw on ugly Christmas sweaters and watch the same old movies year after year. I can’t speak for everyone, but the last thing I want after being bombarded by holiday spirit all day, is to go home and numb myself with the latest A Christmas Carol adaptation.

Over the years this has driven me to seek out some winter films that don’t exactly follow traditional holiday narratives. This eclectic assortment of movies contains everything from unsettling amounts of fake blood to mind-bogglingly cheesy plotlines. I advise everyone to go into this list with a severely open mind.

Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast (2011) (Rated R)

After we survived three Sharknados, four Mega Shark and a handful of Sharktopus movies, it only seems fitting that we should confront the mythical snow shark this holiday season. Expect lots of gore, horrible one-liners and some cheesy shark scenes. This movie is everything you’ve come to expect from horrible Z-list monster movies. So bad, it’s good.

Dead Snow (2009) (Rated R)



Although not technically a Christmas movie, Dead Snow does take place in the snowy mountains of Norway, so we’ll let that fact slide. It would be a shame to shirk a movie with Nazi zombies, Nazi stolen gold and Nazi machineguns. There’s a reason this foreign film has become a cult classic. Don’t worry though an English dub has since been released.

Gremlins (1984) (Rated PG-13)

If you brush the dust off of this old gem, Gremlins is actually a pretty enjoyable classic film. After all, what’s better than cute and cuddly fluff balls that turn into witty terrors and hit the town over the holidays? The answer is nothing. This movie is absolute gold and if you disagree with that, I will personally deliver you a truckload of these little demons. Bonus points will be awarded if you still have a copy of this flick on VHS.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972) (Rated G)

Everything from the title of this movie, to the poor film quality, makes you think it’s about to turn into a bad porn parody. Some movies are so bad that they’re good (Trolls 2) and then there are movies like this, which should be buried and forgotten about.

Treevenge (2008) (Rated R)



You will never look at trees the same way after watching their horrific journey from the forest to our living rooms. It may sound like a boring humanitarian documentary, but this movie comes with a macabre surprise that only Jason Eisener (director of Hobo with a Shotgun) could come up with. Treevenge is definitely not for everyone.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) (Rated PG-13)



When the Martian children become jealous of Earth’s Christmas traditions, the obvious solution is to kidnap Santa Claus and force him to set up a workshop on Mars. That’s what any intelligent being would do, right? Of course, it’s a simple matter of business to kidnap the first two dimwitted children they meet on Earth to show them the way to the North Pole. They can travel from Mars to Earth, but I’ll be damned if they know anything about geography. This movie is a must-see with bonus points for those who make it to the end.

Christmas Caper (2007) (Rated PG)



A criminal (Shannen Doherty ) on the run tries to lay low by returning to her hometown to spend Christmas with the family. Honestly, how did this movie get past the review board?

Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) (Rated R)

Although this movie has nothing to do with Christmas, when in doubt, time warp.

Honourable mentions

Santa With Muscles (1996) (Rated PG)

Hulk Hogan plays a villainous millionaire who believes he’s Santa Clause after suffering a case of amnesia.

Jack Frost (1997) (Rated R)



This isn’t the Jack Frost you’re thinking of. This movie is less along the lines of family film, and more along the lines of a serial killer snowman.