Get an iLoan for the new iPhone: What an Apple lover thinks of the new iPhone X

Header image for Interrobang article CREDIT: MELISSA NOVACASKA
The iPhone X is just another phone that will cost you an arm and a leg to purchase.

Being a fan of Apple these days is kind of like being a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Sure they're both pretty good looking on the surface but when it comes time to perform… well at least they're both pretty good looking.

I've known for a few years now that my love for Apple is irrational and a little embarrassing to say the least but I kept holding on. I kept saying, “Next year is gonna be the big one, just wait, one more year and they'll come back.” Boy was I wrong.

The iPhone 8 and its big brother the iPhone X (pronounced iPhone 10) had their big debut on Sept. 12 and already I'm pretty confused. What the heck happened to iPhone 9? Excuse me, but who's in charge of counting over at Apple? When Microsoft went from Windows 8 to Windows 10 I thought, “Hey this is kind of weird”, but now Apple is skipping nine as well? Is there something that Tech companies are hiding from us? What's next, the iPhone XL, “It's 0.3 inches bigger than last year's model”.

Enough hating on Apple though, let's talk about some of the new features on the phone while Android users stand off to the side and yell, “We had all of this three years ago.”

The biggest improvement, in my opinion, is that Apple has finally adopted wireless charging, This is important for anyone who wants to charge their phone and listen to music at the same time, unless you've got a spare $200 laying around for the Apple Airpods. The drawback to wireless charging however, is that iPhones now have glass on the front and the back. Heck yeah. Who doesn't want to smash their phone a second time?

Speaking of glass, Apple has changed their screen once again as they continue to ‘streamline' their phones. I'm putting ‘streamline' in quotations because Apple's definition means “getting rid of key features and branding it as innovation”, (a moment of silence for the headphone jack).

The latest feature to be ‘streamlined' into oblivion is the home button. Seriously, there's no home button, the phone is all screen baby. It's not like there's a little digital representation of it now either, it's literally gone. What's next, are they going to get rid of the volume buttons as well? I can just imagine the keynote presentation next year, “Now introducing the iPhone XXL. A slim new design with no buttons. Also introducing the Apple Airpod Series 2 with innovative iVolume subscription services starting at $40 a month. Pay now, pay later.”

Speaking of price tags I should mention that the iPhone X starts out at $1319 plus tax. After adding Apple's protection plan and a pair of Airpods, it's going to cost you $2019 after taxes. You could go on an Alaskan cruise for that kind of money. You could buy 400 lottery tickets for that kind of money.

Heck, you could buy a brand new Macbook for that kind of money. So why buy the new iPhone X?

One very simple reason. With Apple's new facial recognition, you can animate an emoji with your own expressions and record a message. Now you can literally look like the piece of shit that everyone thinks you are for dropping two grand on a phone in the first place.

Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.