Devilish thoughts on Tenacious D's new album
Tenacious D - The Pick of Destiny
Greetings, puny mortals. Though it pains me to say this, the terms of the Demon Code force me to acknowledge the result of the epic rock-off that recently took place between your chosen champions, Jack Black and Kyle Gass, and myself, the scourge of civilization.
Deep within my infernal domain, I keep a close eye on any who may dare pose a threat to my control of the human realms. This duo, called Tenacious D, created a collection of comedy-rock in 2001. It was almost delightfully blasphemous in its tasteless vulgarity and masterful use of my chosen art form, heavy metal.
However, included in their repertoire was a song called “Tribute,” in which they describe defeating ME, by playing what they called “the best song in the world.” This was unacceptable. Since then I've been slowly working to destroy Jack Black's fledgling movie career. So far my work has culminated in the flop King Kong, as well as some embarrassing boils that I don't believe he's mentioned to the press just yet.
I expected Tenacious D to live up to their name, though, and it was no surprise when they announced their plans to directly challenge me with their new movie/album combination, The Pick of Destiny.
Ha! They underestimated me in one regard. My hold over the music industry and popular radio allowed me to tempt Tenacious D into making compromises to achieve greater commercial success on this effort. Ballads like “Papagenu” and “Baby” are half-hearted attempts to repeat the novelty of their first album, and “The Government Totally Sucks” is wretched enough that it inspired my R&D department to come up with an entirely new torment device to punish the souls of the wicked.
The rules of the game in this dimension mean that the Celestial plane of Heaven is allowed just as much influence as Hell, and it must have been a divine representative that steered them away from this path when they were working on the rest of the tracks. They were armed with the only weapon that can truly defeat me: Ass-kicking, baby-stabbing heavy metal, a glorious drug of my own making.
Grudgingly, I accept that they know what they're doing in that department. The songs “Car Chase City”, “The Metal”, and “Kickapoo” had me tapping my hooves and throwing up the horns before the realization that I had something to worry about sunk in.
In truth I was almost expecting it when they defeated me. They have chronicled the contest in their song “Beezleboss (The Final Showdown)” and though you can hear me bring my big guns to the table, I'm simply no match for their unholy combination of divine inspiration and infernal methods. Not even Lemmy from Motörhead came this close.
Now I have to pay their rent.
Greetings, puny mortals. Though it pains me to say this, the terms of the Demon Code force me to acknowledge the result of the epic rock-off that recently took place between your chosen champions, Jack Black and Kyle Gass, and myself, the scourge of civilization.
Deep within my infernal domain, I keep a close eye on any who may dare pose a threat to my control of the human realms. This duo, called Tenacious D, created a collection of comedy-rock in 2001. It was almost delightfully blasphemous in its tasteless vulgarity and masterful use of my chosen art form, heavy metal.
However, included in their repertoire was a song called “Tribute,” in which they describe defeating ME, by playing what they called “the best song in the world.” This was unacceptable. Since then I've been slowly working to destroy Jack Black's fledgling movie career. So far my work has culminated in the flop King Kong, as well as some embarrassing boils that I don't believe he's mentioned to the press just yet.
I expected Tenacious D to live up to their name, though, and it was no surprise when they announced their plans to directly challenge me with their new movie/album combination, The Pick of Destiny.
Ha! They underestimated me in one regard. My hold over the music industry and popular radio allowed me to tempt Tenacious D into making compromises to achieve greater commercial success on this effort. Ballads like “Papagenu” and “Baby” are half-hearted attempts to repeat the novelty of their first album, and “The Government Totally Sucks” is wretched enough that it inspired my R&D department to come up with an entirely new torment device to punish the souls of the wicked.
The rules of the game in this dimension mean that the Celestial plane of Heaven is allowed just as much influence as Hell, and it must have been a divine representative that steered them away from this path when they were working on the rest of the tracks. They were armed with the only weapon that can truly defeat me: Ass-kicking, baby-stabbing heavy metal, a glorious drug of my own making.
Grudgingly, I accept that they know what they're doing in that department. The songs “Car Chase City”, “The Metal”, and “Kickapoo” had me tapping my hooves and throwing up the horns before the realization that I had something to worry about sunk in.
In truth I was almost expecting it when they defeated me. They have chronicled the contest in their song “Beezleboss (The Final Showdown)” and though you can hear me bring my big guns to the table, I'm simply no match for their unholy combination of divine inspiration and infernal methods. Not even Lemmy from Motörhead came this close.
Now I have to pay their rent.
