Ask the Sex Doc: Freddie look out, Mascots make top ten wacky fetishes list

Dear Sex Doc;
I'm sure you've heard of a lot of strange things people are into sexually. What is the weirdest thing you've ever heard of?
Happily ‘Normal' @ UBCO


Dear Happily ‘Normal' @ UBCO;
Yes, I've been fortunate (or unfortunate) to have worked with and studied people who get off on a number of different things. I thought I'd compile a list of the top ten strangest fetishes I've heard of so all you students out there who think you're super kinky can have a new perspective on how sexually whacked some people are.

For those of you not in the sexual know, a fetish is an obsessive preoccupation with an inanimate object such as a high heel shoe or a non-sexual body part that elicits sexual arousal and may become necessary for sexual gratification.

You're right Happily ‘Normal,' some people are into some pretty strange shit, quite literally. Starting off the list is Scat or Coprophilia. These are people who love to poop or be pooped on for sexual reasons.

My ninth strangest fetish is people who call themselves Furries or Furverts. Furverts get off on life-sized cartoon mascots. They either enjoy wearing the costume or having sex with the mascot. So Happily ‘Normal,' if you don't get a boner over your school mascot you probably aren't into this.

Coming in at number eight is Body Inflation. People into this fetish wear body inflation suits, which are generally made of rubber to get their groove on. Following closely behind is Fat Admirers. This fetish is pretty self-explanatory. They are usually referred to as chubby chasers, feeders, or gainers.

Though most people might think this is pretty sick, I've put Testicle / Breast Torture in sixth place. This fetish involves torturing the goods with sledgehammers, electro-shock, and the like. Coming in halfway is what is referred to as a Robot Fetish. Here, individuals use either robot dolls or costumes resembling aliens for an out of this world sexual experience.

Medical Procedures Fetishes comes in fourth spot. These people enjoy things like being put under with anesthesia or being catheterized during sex. The third wackiest fetish, in my opinion, is called Messies. Individuals in this category love to get down and dirty with vomit, mud, pee, and pretty well anything stinky and messy.

Coming in at number two is a Balloon Fetish. This kink involves sexual arousal and gratification from balloons due to the material and/or inflation.

Now all these might seem pretty out there Happily ‘Normal,' but none compete with the fetish I've put in number one. Bug Chasers are individuals who seek out HIV positive individuals and have unprotected sex with them for the sole purpose of becoming infected.

As you can see Happily ‘Normal,' there are lots of people into many different kinks. It's best not to judge others on their sexual choices. If they don't hurt anyone, they are doing no harm.

Dear Sex Doc;
I share a house with a bunch of guys and have started getting zit like bumps on the back of my legs. We all share the bathroom and toilets. I'm afraid I got an STD or something. Is it possible to catch something from a toilet seat?
Scared to Sit When I Sh** @ BCIT


Dear Scared to Sit When I Sh** @ BCIT;
You've probably developed some pretty massive quads from hovering the last month or two. But, be assured that the chances of getting a STD from a toilet seat are slim to none.

Most of the organisms that cause STD's, whether viral or bacterial, will die almost immediately on a toilet. In fact, STD's need a warm, moist body to survive. Even if someone with a raging case of Chlamydia unloaded a huge discharge on a toilet seat, the chances of the ‘sitter' getting infected are extremely rare.

But Scared to Sit When I Sh**, one STD that is possible (but again, highly unlikely) to contract from your roommates' toilet treats is crabs.

Crabs are parasites that feed on human blood. You'd know you have them if your groin is permanently attached to your cat's scratching pole. Plus, you'd notice little red dots (blood) in your tighty-whities.

Crabs can live outside of the body for about 24 hours. So STSWIS, theoretically, they could be on a toilet seat until they find another host to eat. However, the little buggers are more likely to jump from pubes to pubes.

The zit-like bumps on your legs could be a number of minor skin conditions including folliculitis. This is an inflammation of the hair follicles, which looks like small, white-headed pimples. If the rash on your legs is folliculitis, it will most likely clear up by itself in a couple of days. If the rash remains, please consult your family doctor.

Like I mentioned, the chances of catching something from sitting on the pooper are very rare. It is always a good idea to wipe the seat and/or use a ‘seat' protector.

Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.

This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.