I have never really been very good at anything. I know that feeling insufficient compared to your peers is nearly universal, but I mean it. For as long as I can remember, I had to work harder just to compare to the people around me.

Report cards would come out and my siblings would count how many “As” they got and celebrate, while I tried to hide mine and pretend it had been lost by the school. It was not that I did not try. Trust me, I tried. I tried so, so hard that it hurt and that is why it stung so much more when I failed time and time again.

I got through high school through sheer force of will and entered adult life just as lost and scared as I had been on report card day every year. With no direction, I flung myself into anything I enjoyed, desperately chasing the idea of passion.

Adults had always told me that if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life. I wanted that. I would have done anything to find something that came naturally or felt right. It was not photography or culinary school or custom cabinetry or forklift driving or writing.

When I quit all of my writing contracts, I was starting to worry that I was just broken. That I could chase anything and put every last drop of will I had in, only to not be enough again.

I would have given up if I could, if there was a family business to inherit at the expense of dreams or a nine to five that would put a roof over my head, but post-pandemic, even that was not easy to find.

Luckily, even when I had given up any hope that I could ever belong somewhere, my wife did not. She saw something in me that I could not, something I still cannot. Without her, I would be nothing.

As another school year approached, I found myself in my annual spiral about my future and if I even deserved success. She looked at our bank account, which was far from flush, and told me to try one more time. I spent hours going through the list of available courses at Fanshawe, bouncing between practical programs that would lead to certain employment and programs centering around creative expression.

I wish I could say that I chose Radio Broadcasting because of some innate calling or gut feeling, but I picked it because with two days before orientation, not much else was open. I wanted to learn about broadcasting equipment, and I convinced myself that even if everything fell apart, at least I would learn more about the gear.

The program started and I poured everything I had in. I lived, breathed, and dreamed all things radio. If this was going to be the last try, I wanted to know that I had at least done my best before failing miserably.

The days turned into weeks, into months, into school terms and I found myself at the centre of a community that appreciated me and, in some cases, needed me. For the first time, I felt like I belonged.

It was not just me gelling with my peers. I excelled at the work and achieved the Dean’s Honours List every semester. In a field where everything revolved around storytelling, everything just made sense.

The effort I poured in resulted in success, which was something I had never experienced before, and it felt incredible.

Now, as I approach graduation, I have noticed that fear begin to creep back in. What if I am not able to transfer my success to the industry? What if I never even get the chance to try because I can’t get hired? But I know that will not happen.

I simply will not let it. I refuse to betray the expectations of everyone who helped me get here.

To my wife that gave me the push I needed to not give up, I love you more than something as feeble and hollow as words could ever hope to express. To my professors that guided me and patiently showed me the path forward, I could never have made it without you. To my peers that believed in me in ways I never could, I will not let you down, I promise.

I was once told that opportunity happens when luck meets someone that refuses to give up. I am here to say that it is right. Keep putting everything you have in. Make mistakes, fail, and fall down because when you do it enough times, you will surely fall into success.