“There’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.”

Our 15th prime minister, Pierre Elliott Trudeau, said this to a reporter in 1967 in defence of a bill that decriminalized homosexuality in Canada. While Trudeau Sr. was referring to what goes on between two consenting adults in the privacy of their own home, surely it should be extended to one single adult and what they do in, um, private as well.

The government of Italy recently made a somewhat controversial decision. Starting next year, anyone wishing to visit a pornography site will be required to log in using their SPID, a sort of online ID number. Of course, they say that people’s privacy will be paramount, but does anyone really trust their government with something as sensitive as their porn history? Even if they really do take safeguards to protect people’s data, it’s just…weird. As the young people say, it gives me the ick.

Italy is not the only place where the government has decided to tie your online habits to your ID. Several states in the American South have also taken similar measures. Eleven states have implemented age-verification laws for adult websites requiring viewers to upload a photo of their ID. Tennessee became the most recent, in June of this year.

Of course, this is all in the name of protecting the children — a noble cause, sure, but I have one big concern about this kind of approach: what kind of governments are in power, or will be in power in the future?

The Italian government is currently led by Giorgia Meloni. For those who are unfamiliar with her policies and general outlook on life, I think the best way to sum her up is Mussolini Light — like Bud Light… but for fascism. Her government made it a priority to strip 2SLGBTQIA+ people of parental rights, from removing non-biological same-sex parents from their child’s birth certificate, to recently making surrogacy a universal crime. Is this the kind of government you want to know that you watched same-sex or trans porn? Probably not.

In the US, the states that have passed similar laws are all Republican states (of course). With all the talk of Project 2025 and its stance on pornography, it makes me feel a bit uneasy about the possible consequences of future legislation when they have a record of each person’s porn viewing habits. It just gives major Big Brother vibes, and not the fun TV show — the original version. It’s from a book called 1984. Read it.

Look, I totally agree that pornography can be damaging to those under 18, and there should absolutely be a better way to prevent them from accessing it. But definitely not at the expense of everyone else’s privacy and, depending on the specifics of one’s browser history, dignity.

At the end of the day, teenagers have always found a way to look at pornography, whether online today or in magazines in the 20th century. Even the ancient Greeks were painting it all over their pottery. And you know what? The world hasn’t ended. So I sincerely hope our country has the sense to come up with a better way of handling this than creeping on our search history like some closet-pervert puritans. Some things are just better kept private.

Also, VPNs exist…