Graduates across the country are seeking legal action against post-secondary institutions after realizing they have to put on their big-kid pants and enter the real world.

Amanda Ethans, a recent graduate of Fanshawe College has had to move back in with her parents. Ethans told Fanshawe Distorter reporters that she’d rather do anything but return to her overbearing parents, who think her degree in general arts is useless and that she has no future.

“The thought of returning home makes me want to bash my head off a wall, I'd sooner be eaten by a hippopotamus,” shared Ethans.

Her problem isn’t only the thought of returning home, but the thought of having to get a job that requires regular attendance.

“What do you mean I need to get a nine to five? I usually sleep from nine to five then go to happy hour,” she said.

She said she’s quickly realized the only way she could fix her problems was with money, because money solves everything. However, Ethans had spent all her money on ridiculous rent prices for crappy college houses for four years and overpriced fruity bar drinks.

“Beer is fattening, I like piña coladas,” said Ethans. I'm not sure who’s going to tell her that those also have calories and that would be the reason she succumbed to the freshman 15, or that the ugly frat guy she called her boyfriend made her feel like crap about herself for a year.

Ethans has now decided to pursue legal action against her former institution, a decision that her parents have blamed “on that damn phone.”

We reached out to the school for comment, and they actually responded—which is weird because normally institutions in hot water just hide from the media and pretend they never did whatever truly awful thing they were caught for doing—but I digress.

“We acknowledge that tuition is at an absolutely outrageous price and you probably feel no more prepared for the real world than you were before the 30-grand you spent,” said a spokesperson for the college.

“We offer really pretty buildings that cost all your money to build and will be under construction for 20 years, causing major campus dysfunction. So you'd think that by sitting in them for 12 hours a day, cramming for finals you would somehow be more prepared for life,” the college said.

The college would not confirm nor deny if they even could afford to pay back students any money (which probably means they can’t) but they did offer several boxes of Kraft Dinner.