After a nasty battle in London's local daily paper that included letter writing and he said she said accusations it appears a local Fanshawe union has decided to throw in the towel on the issue that has become widely known as The Laying Of The Hands.

“With all due to respect to the College and all those involved in this unfortunate situation, our union apologizes,” said union leader John Foreskin in a prepared statement. “We have come to the conclusion that besmirching the College in such a public manner and forum is counter productive to a long term solution. We want to have a stable relationship with the College.”

However College officials are skeptical about the local union's motivation in dropping the case.

“We're leery of the situation. We expect some other drama to suddenly find itself on their agenda,” said a College spokesperson, who wanted to be identified as such because the College continues to move towards becoming a nameless faceless organization due to some complaints about an advertising campaign. “The other shoe hasn't dropped yet, but one of our union moles has indicated the executive could be up to something.”

Distorter sources have indicated to us that the union is outraged by the College's decision to have all employees take sensitivity training to help curb any future incidents where anybody and anyone could become offended. One of the corner stones of the training is that people will not be able to put their hands on other people's chairs or workspace. Though the union continues to indicate they support the training.

“We think this is a radical approach to helping all employees of the College.”

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.