Ask the Sex Doc: Sex Doc answers readers personal questions
Down and dirty with The Sex Doc, Dr. Brian Parker
Why did you want to become a sex expert?
From the time I took my first Human Sexuality course at Red Deer College when I was 19, I knew I wanted to be involved in the field of sexual health. It was an 8 a.m. class and I wouldn't miss it for the world.
I was brought up Catholic in small town Alberta. I was made aware at a very young age that sexuality was NOT something to talk about. I had a lot of guilt and shame around sexuality in general. When I started to talk openly with close friends and partners I realized it wasn't such a big deal. The guilt and shame had been lifted off of my shoulders.
From the age of 19 on, I was very open about sexuality and was obsessed with learning about the field. It wasn't long before my friends started coming to me for advice and guidance with their relationships and sexuality.
Why did you quit your career as a model to become a sexologist?
Modeling was a fantastic career. I was able to travel around the world, meet amazing people and make great money for just looking good. But, I also found it completely empty. By the end, I was dying to once again use my brain, which is something you don't need often as a model. I decided it was time to pursue my life's passion, sexuality.
How did you get started as a sexologist?
When I did my undergraduate degree in science, I took every course offered in Human Sexuality, which was a grand total of three. I also took courses on relationships and related topics. After my Bachelors, I researched schools to pursue graduate training in Human Sexuality, but couldn't find anything I was drawn to. That's when I decided to model internationally.
After modeling, I decided I needed to pursue the field of sexuality. I once again researched schools that offered advanced degrees in the area. When I discovered The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, I knew I had found the right school. It is considered the world's premier sex school — where all the sex experts train. I was accepted into the program in January of 2000 and completed a Doctor of Education and Doctor of Philosophy in Human Sexuality three years later.
When I was writing my dissertation I took a job as a counsellor/educator at Planned Parenthood Edmonton. Since then, I have seen hundreds of clients with sexual concerns and have taught sex-ed to over 30,000 students.
Why would you want to talk about something as sensitive as sexuality in front of large groups of people?
Speaking in front of large groups about such a ‘touchy' subject is completely rewarding, especially when you know you are changing people's perspectives of sexuality.
I never get nervous when I'm public speaking. Last year I was speaking at the Edmonton Sex Show and my parents were in the audience. I thought I might have to G-rate the content, but I just did my normal talk. I don't know too many people who have had to ‘talk' to their parents about the most orgasmic sexual positions for women, G-spot orgasms, or how to get a guy off through his butt.
Are you comfortable talking about sex?
Actually, for me it was easy. I find talking to audiences about penises and vaginas a lot easier than prancing around on a runway wearing only a g-string. But the fact that I had to model underwear and swimwear probably, made me much more comfortable discussing sex with strangers.
Teaching adults sexual health is a piece of cake compared to teaching junior high boys. Their whole reason for existing in that classroom is to try to embarrass or shock you. Once you've taught pubescent boys about sex, you can pretty well teach anyone.
Is there anything about your job you dislike?
Honestly, I would have to say that I like every aspect of my job. Granted, I do prefer certain parts to others. I would have to say that teaching sex-ed is my favourite. I also love writing about sexuality and creating products for couples to use to enhance their relationships.
What are the most common questions you get asked by students?
Canadian students are obsessed with questions about penis size, the G-spot and the best sexual positions. I also get a lot of questions about condoms and STI's.
Some of my favourite questions are:
- “Girls can masturbate?”
- “How come I don't have pubes?”
- “Does size matter?”
- “What's the biggest penis ever?”
- “What's the clearance distance for anal?”
As you can see, I get asked all types of questions.
What would you say is the most common misconception college students have about sex?
That sex equals penis and vagina. There is so much more to sex than intercourse. And, many of these activities are less risky in terms of pregnancy and STI transmission.
If you had only one sex tip you could offer to people, what would it be?
MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE. Solo sex doesn't carry risks of pregnancy, STI's or dealing with different libidos. It is also widely known in the sexological field that individuals have their best orgasms while ‘playing' with themselves. Further, for people to fully enjoy sex, they must become intimately familiar with their own genitals and how they do (and do not) like to be touched.
Why did you want to become a sex expert?
From the time I took my first Human Sexuality course at Red Deer College when I was 19, I knew I wanted to be involved in the field of sexual health. It was an 8 a.m. class and I wouldn't miss it for the world.
I was brought up Catholic in small town Alberta. I was made aware at a very young age that sexuality was NOT something to talk about. I had a lot of guilt and shame around sexuality in general. When I started to talk openly with close friends and partners I realized it wasn't such a big deal. The guilt and shame had been lifted off of my shoulders.
From the age of 19 on, I was very open about sexuality and was obsessed with learning about the field. It wasn't long before my friends started coming to me for advice and guidance with their relationships and sexuality.
Why did you quit your career as a model to become a sexologist?
Modeling was a fantastic career. I was able to travel around the world, meet amazing people and make great money for just looking good. But, I also found it completely empty. By the end, I was dying to once again use my brain, which is something you don't need often as a model. I decided it was time to pursue my life's passion, sexuality.
How did you get started as a sexologist?
When I did my undergraduate degree in science, I took every course offered in Human Sexuality, which was a grand total of three. I also took courses on relationships and related topics. After my Bachelors, I researched schools to pursue graduate training in Human Sexuality, but couldn't find anything I was drawn to. That's when I decided to model internationally.
After modeling, I decided I needed to pursue the field of sexuality. I once again researched schools that offered advanced degrees in the area. When I discovered The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, I knew I had found the right school. It is considered the world's premier sex school — where all the sex experts train. I was accepted into the program in January of 2000 and completed a Doctor of Education and Doctor of Philosophy in Human Sexuality three years later.
When I was writing my dissertation I took a job as a counsellor/educator at Planned Parenthood Edmonton. Since then, I have seen hundreds of clients with sexual concerns and have taught sex-ed to over 30,000 students.
Why would you want to talk about something as sensitive as sexuality in front of large groups of people?
Speaking in front of large groups about such a ‘touchy' subject is completely rewarding, especially when you know you are changing people's perspectives of sexuality.
I never get nervous when I'm public speaking. Last year I was speaking at the Edmonton Sex Show and my parents were in the audience. I thought I might have to G-rate the content, but I just did my normal talk. I don't know too many people who have had to ‘talk' to their parents about the most orgasmic sexual positions for women, G-spot orgasms, or how to get a guy off through his butt.
Are you comfortable talking about sex?
Actually, for me it was easy. I find talking to audiences about penises and vaginas a lot easier than prancing around on a runway wearing only a g-string. But the fact that I had to model underwear and swimwear probably, made me much more comfortable discussing sex with strangers.
Teaching adults sexual health is a piece of cake compared to teaching junior high boys. Their whole reason for existing in that classroom is to try to embarrass or shock you. Once you've taught pubescent boys about sex, you can pretty well teach anyone.
Is there anything about your job you dislike?
Honestly, I would have to say that I like every aspect of my job. Granted, I do prefer certain parts to others. I would have to say that teaching sex-ed is my favourite. I also love writing about sexuality and creating products for couples to use to enhance their relationships.
What are the most common questions you get asked by students?
Canadian students are obsessed with questions about penis size, the G-spot and the best sexual positions. I also get a lot of questions about condoms and STI's.
Some of my favourite questions are:
- “Girls can masturbate?”
- “How come I don't have pubes?”
- “Does size matter?”
- “What's the biggest penis ever?”
- “What's the clearance distance for anal?”
As you can see, I get asked all types of questions.
What would you say is the most common misconception college students have about sex?
That sex equals penis and vagina. There is so much more to sex than intercourse. And, many of these activities are less risky in terms of pregnancy and STI transmission.
If you had only one sex tip you could offer to people, what would it be?
MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE, MASTURBATE. Solo sex doesn't carry risks of pregnancy, STI's or dealing with different libidos. It is also widely known in the sexological field that individuals have their best orgasms while ‘playing' with themselves. Further, for people to fully enjoy sex, they must become intimately familiar with their own genitals and how they do (and do not) like to be touched.
