Mona Treblehorn had a hard time containing her excitement the day she moved into Fanshawe rez, Falcon House, just a mere few weeks ago. Unfortunately for Treblehorn, a native of Thunder Bay, the shine of a new school and its challenges has quickly worn off.

Treblehorn attended her first week of classes without difficulty, making fast friends with her roomies and some classmates, but week two has turned into a disaster after a planned liaison with her boyfriend didn't materialize.

“She hasn't gotten up from her bed since Sunday,” said Janice Weitzel, a roommate of Treblehorn's. “She's still wearing the same outfit she put on when she went out to meet up with her boyfriend, but he never showed.”

For her part Treblehorn has tried to contact her boyfriend numerous times, but the high school senior back home in Thunder Bay hasn't taken her calls, or returned them either.

“The last time she called his mother said he was in the garage helping his dad clean it,” said Weitzel, “but that was Tuesday right after school and his dad would've been still at work.”

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.