Faith Meets Life: Media making sex a negative encounter
In the film Stranger than Fiction Harold Crick (Will Ferrell), agent of the U.S. Internal Revenue Service (IRS) arrives breathless, carrying a box of small brown packages filled with flowers which apparently have yet to grow.
“I want you,” he announces to Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal), who has violated the expectations of the IRS. Crick has been sent to audit her business. Now, he has fallen in love with her.
His closing-time delivery is how their first sexual encounter begins. Within a couple of hours they're in her apartment. He plays guitar and sings his way into Ana's bed. In the blink of an eye, she stops hating his guts. It is very romantic.
I actually really like Stranger. It's a clever film and I love quoting the closing lines, a short sermon on being grateful for the little things that can have a wonderful impact for the long term. Ironically, the storywriters don't appear to be sensitive to the unhappy long-term effects of casual sex.
I realize that not every film that includes depictions of lovemaking can spend the necessary time exploring how a relationship can reach some depth before the partners slip into bed. But as we become saturated with portrayals of fairy-tale sex, do our own encounters, especially as teens and 20-somethings, become disappointing and destructive?
In the book, What God Has Joined Together: A Christian Case for Gay Marriage (Harper, 2005), which is obviously about much more than media presentations of sex, authors David G. Meyers and Letha Dawson Scanzoni take up the question of sex as it is portrayed in the media.
They write about the “steady diet of impulsive sexuality” available in popular film and video. They claim that the kinds of depictions we have gotten used to create a number of problems. Infidelity to lovers and spouses is presented as routine. Too much emphasis is placed on the physical attractiveness of partners. Not everyone is a “10,” rather most of us hover somewhere around a “five.” Males (especially) begin to misinterpret friendliness from females as sexual come-ons. Sexual aggression can seem acceptable. Incidents of sexual violence rise where there are high levels of pornographic consumption.
Arguably, the college counselling department, family and child services, teen pregnancy centres, family law courts and other social helping agencies are the ones paying a large part of the cost for this by having to deal with the fall out of sex, which has been carelessly scripted by many in the media.
Meyers and Scanzoni do not blame the media alone for the dilemmas of teen pregnancy, STDs and chaotic sexual relationships. However, they notice that media provide scripts for potential sexual encounters. The way many respond to such encounters is influenced, scripted, partially or largely, by the encounters we see on our screens.
Which leads to the question; Who or what has provided scripts for our sexual encounters, and what decisions can we make to ensure that we ourselves, as well as kids and teens, are exposed to positive, realistic sexual scripts — scripts that do not create sexual chaos, but affirm fidelity, integrity, and real concern for partners and potential offspring?
Michael Veenema is former chaplain at Fanshawe College and continues to write for the Interrobang.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
“I want you,” he announces to Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal), who has violated the expectations of the IRS. Crick has been sent to audit her business. Now, he has fallen in love with her.
His closing-time delivery is how their first sexual encounter begins. Within a couple of hours they're in her apartment. He plays guitar and sings his way into Ana's bed. In the blink of an eye, she stops hating his guts. It is very romantic.
I actually really like Stranger. It's a clever film and I love quoting the closing lines, a short sermon on being grateful for the little things that can have a wonderful impact for the long term. Ironically, the storywriters don't appear to be sensitive to the unhappy long-term effects of casual sex.
I realize that not every film that includes depictions of lovemaking can spend the necessary time exploring how a relationship can reach some depth before the partners slip into bed. But as we become saturated with portrayals of fairy-tale sex, do our own encounters, especially as teens and 20-somethings, become disappointing and destructive?
In the book, What God Has Joined Together: A Christian Case for Gay Marriage (Harper, 2005), which is obviously about much more than media presentations of sex, authors David G. Meyers and Letha Dawson Scanzoni take up the question of sex as it is portrayed in the media.
They write about the “steady diet of impulsive sexuality” available in popular film and video. They claim that the kinds of depictions we have gotten used to create a number of problems. Infidelity to lovers and spouses is presented as routine. Too much emphasis is placed on the physical attractiveness of partners. Not everyone is a “10,” rather most of us hover somewhere around a “five.” Males (especially) begin to misinterpret friendliness from females as sexual come-ons. Sexual aggression can seem acceptable. Incidents of sexual violence rise where there are high levels of pornographic consumption.
Arguably, the college counselling department, family and child services, teen pregnancy centres, family law courts and other social helping agencies are the ones paying a large part of the cost for this by having to deal with the fall out of sex, which has been carelessly scripted by many in the media.
Meyers and Scanzoni do not blame the media alone for the dilemmas of teen pregnancy, STDs and chaotic sexual relationships. However, they notice that media provide scripts for potential sexual encounters. The way many respond to such encounters is influenced, scripted, partially or largely, by the encounters we see on our screens.
Which leads to the question; Who or what has provided scripts for our sexual encounters, and what decisions can we make to ensure that we ourselves, as well as kids and teens, are exposed to positive, realistic sexual scripts — scripts that do not create sexual chaos, but affirm fidelity, integrity, and real concern for partners and potential offspring?
Michael Veenema is former chaplain at Fanshawe College and continues to write for the Interrobang.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
