Who needs Hollywood when there's drama in Canada?
Now that Hollywood's writers are on strike, maybe their Canadian counterparts will be able to fill the content gap with good old written-directed-produced in Canuckistan documentaries, dramas and comedies. The hard part will be finding a focus. There's so much material to choose from. Let's take a look and make some suggestions.
Drama:
Watch as our Minister of Defense, Peter McKay, gets his first taste of combat while at a Canadian forward operating base. In a series of flashbacks, the movie could show how McKay got to Afghanistan. Watch as he stabs David Orchard in the back, a move that creates the Conservative Party of Canada. Observe him as he loses all possible future credibility and nobly steps aside for Stephen Harper. Check out his pork barrel reward once Harper leads the Cons to power: Foreign Affairs Minister McKay.
Filmmakers will be sure to include Belinda Stronach breaking his heart, and after a recent cabinet shuffle, our hero is handed the Defense Ministry. Note how he blushes during his first press conference with Condi Rice. The audience surely understands why he'd be so smitten by such a powerful person involved in the worst geo-political fuckup of the modern era (hint, it has something to do with Iraq).
When McKay heads to Afghanistan to reassure us all that progress is being made in the war-torn country, insurgents fire a couple missiles into the compound while on a base visit, Our hero's first action. The dirt is flying, people are screaming, he scampers for a quickly scrambled chopper. Visions of Vietnam float through his head, while he wonders if he's captured if he'll be tortured like Vietnam vet, and current US presidential hopeful, John McCain. As the shrapnel flies, McKay questions if this escape will fix his somewhat shaky reputation.
Typical of most Canadian movies, the ending is unclear. McKay, now in need of new pants and fresh underwear, isn't satisfied with the choices in Kandahar. Dramatic writers decide to exclude the fact that five Afghani parliamentarians and over 20 Afghan civilians, including children, were killed in a suicide bombing the same day as the attack on the Canadian base. Never let reality get in the way of a good story.
Documentary:
Follow along with the film crew as Liberal Deputy Leader, Micheal Ignatieff attempts to get the water boarding form of torture legislation through parliament. Various members of the crew disappear during filming.
Comedy:
More technically, a show of farce sketches. The Cons proudly cut a per cent point off the GST seven months after penning the biggest spending budget in Canadian history. The firm grasp of Bush-style tax cuts, while increasing spending, impresses all Canadians. Prime Minister Harper then rejects a call for investigations into former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney's cash transaction with businessman Karlheinz Schreiber, who is in jail waiting for an extradition flight to Germany where he faces charges of bribery fraud and tax evasion. Is this the same Stephen Harper who got into office riding the heels of similar Liberal scandals, the same person who pledged open-ness and accountability in government?
Finance Minister Jim Flaherty ignores advice from his department regarding the costs of illegal tobacco products. The fact that the government has lost a billion and a half dollars in tax revenue doesn't seem to bother the Finance Minister. Most people in Ontario wonder if he's ever been to the Six Nations reserve outside Brantford.
A game show proposal:
“Where is Dalton McGuinty Hiding?” Contestants are sent out in the province to try and find the Premier, who has disappeared completely following the election. Points are also awarded for anyone who can locate a Liberal Member of Parliament. But the grand prize, an all expenses paid cross-country move to Alberta, is awarded to the contestant who locates the Premier and gets him to say something, anything, about any of the issues facing Ontario over the next four years.
Yeah, all that and more. Who needs Hollywood?
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
Drama:
Watch as our Minister of Defense, Peter McKay, gets his first taste of combat while at a Canadian forward operating base. In a series of flashbacks, the movie could show how McKay got to Afghanistan. Watch as he stabs David Orchard in the back, a move that creates the Conservative Party of Canada. Observe him as he loses all possible future credibility and nobly steps aside for Stephen Harper. Check out his pork barrel reward once Harper leads the Cons to power: Foreign Affairs Minister McKay.
Filmmakers will be sure to include Belinda Stronach breaking his heart, and after a recent cabinet shuffle, our hero is handed the Defense Ministry. Note how he blushes during his first press conference with Condi Rice. The audience surely understands why he'd be so smitten by such a powerful person involved in the worst geo-political fuckup of the modern era (hint, it has something to do with Iraq).
When McKay heads to Afghanistan to reassure us all that progress is being made in the war-torn country, insurgents fire a couple missiles into the compound while on a base visit, Our hero's first action. The dirt is flying, people are screaming, he scampers for a quickly scrambled chopper. Visions of Vietnam float through his head, while he wonders if he's captured if he'll be tortured like Vietnam vet, and current US presidential hopeful, John McCain. As the shrapnel flies, McKay questions if this escape will fix his somewhat shaky reputation.
Typical of most Canadian movies, the ending is unclear. McKay, now in need of new pants and fresh underwear, isn't satisfied with the choices in Kandahar. Dramatic writers decide to exclude the fact that five Afghani parliamentarians and over 20 Afghan civilians, including children, were killed in a suicide bombing the same day as the attack on the Canadian base. Never let reality get in the way of a good story.
Documentary:
Follow along with the film crew as Liberal Deputy Leader, Micheal Ignatieff attempts to get the water boarding form of torture legislation through parliament. Various members of the crew disappear during filming.
Comedy:
More technically, a show of farce sketches. The Cons proudly cut a per cent point off the GST seven months after penning the biggest spending budget in Canadian history. The firm grasp of Bush-style tax cuts, while increasing spending, impresses all Canadians. Prime Minister Harper then rejects a call for investigations into former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney's cash transaction with businessman Karlheinz Schreiber, who is in jail waiting for an extradition flight to Germany where he faces charges of bribery fraud and tax evasion. Is this the same Stephen Harper who got into office riding the heels of similar Liberal scandals, the same person who pledged open-ness and accountability in government?
Finance Minister Jim Flaherty ignores advice from his department regarding the costs of illegal tobacco products. The fact that the government has lost a billion and a half dollars in tax revenue doesn't seem to bother the Finance Minister. Most people in Ontario wonder if he's ever been to the Six Nations reserve outside Brantford.
A game show proposal:
“Where is Dalton McGuinty Hiding?” Contestants are sent out in the province to try and find the Premier, who has disappeared completely following the election. Points are also awarded for anyone who can locate a Liberal Member of Parliament. But the grand prize, an all expenses paid cross-country move to Alberta, is awarded to the contestant who locates the Premier and gets him to say something, anything, about any of the issues facing Ontario over the next four years.
Yeah, all that and more. Who needs Hollywood?
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
