Protect young gamers
American children under the age of 19 will be required to wear a helmet while playing video games, if a family oriented lobbyist group has their way in the Senate next week.
FAVI's mission statement calls for each video gaming system to be sold with a protective helmet, much like the head gear children are required to wear when riding bicycles. Tanner also said the group is pushing for politicians to approve the funding to hire 1,000 helmet inspectors, who will comb suburbs, door to door, in search of gamers without helmets.
“My seven year old son got so angry when he lost during his eighth consecutive hour of playing Halo, he started slamming his head into the television. The game hypnotized him and now he will never walk again,” cried Susan Thatcher, a mother of three who rallied with other FAVI members. “If he had a helmet on he could be riding his bike right now.”
Senator Charles Linderman, of New Hampshire, has spoken out against FAVI and their campaign to impose headgear on video gaming children.
“This is just one more restriction our children have to put up with. When I was a kid I fell out of trees and bumped by head, but I survived,” Senator Linderman said in a press conference earlier this week.
“The thought of spending millions on helmet inspectors is a waste of the tax payers money and I won't stand for it.”
The Senate will meet next week for the final vote and it is expected to pass with 78 in favor and 23 opposed.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
Families Against Video Game Injuries (FAVI), a grassroots organization started by five mothers who all claim that each of their sons suffered major injuries as a result of becoming too involved in video games, have been campaigning around the United States since April.
“My son Jeff has been in a coma ever since he fell playing that dang racing game,” said Bessie-Lou Tanner, President of the FAVI North Carolina chapter.
FAVI's mission statement calls for each video gaming system to be sold with a protective helmet, much like the head gear children are required to wear when riding bicycles. Tanner also said the group is pushing for politicians to approve the funding to hire 1,000 helmet inspectors, who will comb suburbs, door to door, in search of gamers without helmets.
“My seven year old son got so angry when he lost during his eighth consecutive hour of playing Halo, he started slamming his head into the television. The game hypnotized him and now he will never walk again,” cried Susan Thatcher, a mother of three who rallied with other FAVI members. “If he had a helmet on he could be riding his bike right now.”
Senator Charles Linderman, of New Hampshire, has spoken out against FAVI and their campaign to impose headgear on video gaming children.
“This is just one more restriction our children have to put up with. When I was a kid I fell out of trees and bumped by head, but I survived,” Senator Linderman said in a press conference earlier this week.
“The thought of spending millions on helmet inspectors is a waste of the tax payers money and I won't stand for it.”
The Senate will meet next week for the final vote and it is expected to pass with 78 in favor and 23 opposed.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
