The truth is stranger than fiction

As an avid reader of the National Post, I always manage to find crazy little stories hidden in there (or blatantly put at the top of a page) that I read in total amusement. Then I take a moment to ponder and realize that they were not kidding. Next to being forced to watch Wheel of Fortune (stupid people) and Jeopardy (usually smart people) arguing over these articles is a tradition in my family as we have a huge number of political and social differences. Here are a few recent zingers I found recently.

Reverend Franklin Graham
The Reverend Franklin Graham, son of the influential American preacher stated that Hurricane Katrina was “God's vengeance.” He felt that the hurricane that slammed into New Orleans, submerging entire neighbourhoods for weeks with its horrible tidal surge, was not a freak of Nature but a message from an angry God. Because New Orleans is known as a hedonistic city, it was bucking for a “good dose of divine retribution.”

Saying that New Orleans was a city known for Satan worship, orgies and wide spread drinking of alcohol and drug use, Rev. Graham says he believes that God sent the hurricane to spark a religious revival there. I'd like him to explain, then, how the French Quarter, the site of most of this debauchery, was largely untouched by the hurricane and the gay discos and bars are open for business as I type this. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I am sorry, Rev. Graham, you are one hell of a nut job. Natural disasters are science, not religion. Yes, people are praying right now more than ever to try and find their fellow family members who were displaced by this event. And they are praying that if and when the “next big one comes” Dubya will have spent enough money on the levees that the floodwaters won't “drown the town” and kill so many innocent people.

Hotels, Dogs and Children
A top hotel in Austria (The Hotel Cortisen) has decided that young guests are not worth the havoc they create and have plans to ban any guests under the age of 12. Reservations for next May, which is when the plans on enforcing the ban, have been flooding in as a result. Dogs however are welcome. His reasoning? Dogs are far better trained and do not vandalize the hotel as the children have been doing over the years. He added that “My guests have the right to quiet and relaxation in one of Austria's top hotels and running and screaming children do not fit with that image.” Thank you, Roland; I have had some marvellous vacations ruined by kids wreaking havoc in the halls and making the pool a veritable war zone. (Okay, they were my own nieces and nephews and some other kids as well.) I hope that some other upscale hotels follow your directive. AND SOON.

And I Have a Retail Therapy Problem?
Check this one out!
Upon reviewing the bills for recent hurricane relief efforts made by the government during Hurricanes Rita and Katrina, a rather long and weird list of discoveries were found on a total estimated bill of $150 billion. Yes, the B word — most of that is going into disaster aid cheques to victims and huge contracts for debris removal and housing. Some items made total sense, others did not — read and see what I mean.

USD $66,632.37 spent on one single trip at a Wal-Mart store in LaPlace, Louisiana. (I am sure someone got some gum or a chocolate bar while checking out, the madman!)
USD $60,639.61 on sleeping bags.
USD $129,568.40 spent in total on 195 trips to Home Depot. 195 trips? Couldn't they figure out what they needed the first, say, 100 times?
USD $223,000 for flip-flops. Yes, flip-flops — those annoying shoes whose sound makes you crazy when you walk in them or hear someone else walking in them. Are flip-flops the best thing to be wearing in 12 feet of germ infested water? They slide off, offer no protection against anything that is IN that water such as metal shards — why not some cheap Keds-like cotton shoes that you can at least lace up?
USD $153,600 on underwear. I am not even going to touch the subject of that bill.
Three golf carts rented for USD $1,500 a month. Golf carts? I guess they need some way to get around, but you can buy a new one for about $2000.
USD $5.28 for flyswatters.

And four packs of playing cards purchased by the US Forest Service for which no price was listed, but was given an explanation “to help morale during this tough time being endured by our employees”. Yep, them poor employees with safe, warm homes to go back to, no displaced family members that they cannot find and guaranteed meals. They had to do some horrible work, I can assure you, but let's cry little crocodile tears for their suffering, shall we?

Janet is a second year student in the hospitality department on an extended sick leave. She has left the house of “TLC” —- now known as the Lakeshore Jail as she has had it with her parents and says, “screw it” to the saying “you can always go home again.” At least here she can enjoy her clutter, sleep when she wants for as long as she wants and the cat CAN get away with anything — Zuki is 16, she deserves to do whatever she can get away with! You can contact her at: djembejanet@hotmail.com

Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.