Bloated by a meaningless election

“Many journalists appeared to be in the terminal stages of Campaign Bloat, a gruesome kind of false-fat condition that is said to be connected somehow with failing adrenal glands. The swelling begins within 24 hours of that moment when the victim first begins to suspect that the campaign is essentially meaningless.”
Hunter S Thompson.


The federal election of 2008 certainly wasn't meaningless. Look at what we learned, and tally up what the public has gained by footing the bill for a $300 million exercise in slight change.

Chump change.

What's $300 million, anyway?

It's not as if that money could have been used elsewhere. Add in the Federal Elections of 2004 and 2006 with the one Canadians were just forced to endure - and the cost is getting close to a billion dollars.

But, to be fair, look at what was gained on October 14 and decide whether your money was well spent.

The Conservatives won 16 more seats, taking most of them from the Liberal Party. Considering the Liberals had not been doing its job as opposition since 2006, I suppose the punishment of having its worst showing since 1867 is a gain for the people of Canada.

Plus we've gained a stronger Conservative Party. That should be helpful in these troubled economic times. Why, the Prime Minister announced on Wednesday that the Conservatives would be releasing a comprehensive Six Point economic battle plan in late November. I suppose the PM and his 146 fellow MPs need a month and a half to figure out how to keep spending money like drunken sailors while cutting corporate taxes to satisfy the business community, which forms the base of the party's supporters.

The disastrous showing by the Liberal Party also means that Stephane Dion's time as leader is finished, whether he realizes it or not. Now Canadians will likely benefit from his successor. An odds on favourite right now is Michael Ignatieff. Remember Iggy Flop? The Harvard Prof, writer, international intellectual and fan of torture techniques like water boarding? Iggy spent most of his life outside of Canada, only returning when he saw a chance at becoming Liberal leader in 2006. In the years leading up to his heroic return to Canada promoting the US invasion of Iraq and armed intervention into any country that he deemed “dangerous” through clearly the US itself is not dangerous, right Iggy?

Canadians may have lost a Liberal leader who couldn't speak English, but we may have gained a former Booker nominated career academic who shoved a prominent black woman out of her Etobicoke riding so he could run in a safe seat - all the better to claim his rightful position at the top of the Liberal heap someday.

That day may be soon. But, wait. There's a Trudeau waiting in the wings, too. Yes, Justin Trudeau, son of former PM Pierre Elliott, is now an MP. If history repeats itself, and Trudeau wins the Liberal leadership and eventually becomes PM himself, then Canada is in for a decade of high-energy prices and horrible inflation mixed with joblessness. But it would be nice to see Justin get that far, because he's just so damn good looking.

Indeed, Canadians learned a great many things on October 14. We learned that only 59 per cent of the population voted. Locally only 56 per cent of Londoners voted. But I'm sure that the approximately 40 per cent of people who didn't vote won't complain about “the government.” I'd crunch the numbers and get an approximate number of people who actually put the Conservatives back into power... but campaign bloat set in for me even before this election started. My adrenalin glands failed early on, I'm afraid.

So I'll leave it up to Canadians themselves to ponder how so few people can set the agenda for the rest of the country. But just make sure you voted before you start spouting off... otherwise your opinions might just be completely meaningless.

Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.