Love Lola: Student hot for teacher readying to make her move
Dear Lola,
I'm a 30-something student who has a male professor who I am pretty sure is single (and straight) and my question is this: would it be grossly inappropriate for me to ask him out after he's marked my final exam? Of course I would not want to put him in an awkward position and I don't even know if he would be interested, but you can't fault me for asking!
Teacher's Pet
Dear Pet,
A very wise man once said “Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad. I'm hot for teacher. I got it bad.”
The year was 1984 and that wise man was David Lee Roth, but the heart of this moving statement stirs up a memory in all of us of a time when we were indeed; hot for teacher!
For me, it was many moons ago when I favoured a certain whistle-blowing gym teacher with a penchant for silky short shorts. Of course, I was 12 and he may have been gay, so your teacher's pet pursuit may end up a little differently.
So you're yearning for some learning after school, eh? First things first; the rules!
Fanshawe has a lengthy Student Code of Contact that should be able to steer you towards answering the moral/ethical end of your dilemma. Of course, while you're watching Professor Prettypants working his magic through a PowerPoint presentation, I'm sure the last thing on your mind is ethical behaviour. For shame! Let's just be sure not to get him fired or you expelled as we travel down this path to domestic bliss, shall we?
Under the Administrative Policies and Human Resources section of the Fanshawe College website lays an important section called Conflict of Interest. According to this particular slice: “Any situation where an individual's personal interests may be incompatible or in conflict with her/his responsibilities as a College Employee can be perceived as a Conflict of Interests.”
Basically, you shouldn't have any type of personal relationship with a teacher, a counselor, a coach, a janitor or any of the ladies from Tim Horton's while you're going to school here. Technically, yes, once he has graded your final exam and you are officially no longer under his chalky thumb, than you two love-Falcons should be free to canoodle on campus as you please.
The tricky part might be getting this man to risk the suspicions of his peers and colleagues for a freshman romp.
I'm so eager to find out what it is that you find so irresistible about this guy; is it his snappy blazers? His crooked spectacles? His fumbling, yet charming general sense of disarray? Clearly I'm picturing this guy more John Cleese than Jonas Brother and for some reason in my head he's British.
I'm probably picturing him way too old though. He could be a young, fresh grad student finishing his thesis while teaching psych 101 at the local community college. In this case, I'm picturing him wielding his laser pointer like a light saber, quoting Kerouac and wearing vintage band tees under his cardigans. Swoon!
Either way, you clearly have some serious lust burning under your book bag that needs a release!
The one rule that every boy and girl must remember when entering into the sticky situation of asking someone to share a meal or a movie is; DON'T GO IN BLIND!
You said you “don't even know if he would be interested…” THEN STOP!
Never ask someone out cold turkey or the sheer shock of your unexpected query will result in an awkward, squirming reaction that is far from an ego stroke or a comforting affirmation of someone's requited affections. You need to lead up to a sudden change in gears or you'll be left by the side of the road clutch in hand.
I'm assuming you're thinking about initiating some kind of afterhour's connection in December. You're probably picturing yourself in a Winter Wonderland with rosy cheeks, hot chocolate, ice skates and your favourite nutty professor at your side.
Hey, anything's possible!
I guess the bottom line is, as you asked so eloquently in your letter: “would it be grossly inappropriate for you to ask him out after he's marked your final exam?”
In my humble yet, respectable opinion? No.
Men and women come together in random, unexpected ways everyday. Between Facebook, Twitter, email, MySpace and iPods we've become completely isolated creatures posing as social butterflies. It's possible to talk to friends, make and break plans, date, gamble, shop and eat without ever leaving your house or speaking to another human being. In this world, where we operate in anti-bacterial bubbles, fearful of genuine human contact, I say take what you can get.
Just be sure that grade is signed, sealed and delivered before attempting any sort of physical or emotional contact with this guy.
Good Luck! Love Lola
Got a question? Email me at lolaletters@live.ca - All emails are confidential and your identity will be protected. If you're not comfortable sending me an email, just click on the Letters to Lola link on the left side menu to send me your question.
I'm a 30-something student who has a male professor who I am pretty sure is single (and straight) and my question is this: would it be grossly inappropriate for me to ask him out after he's marked my final exam? Of course I would not want to put him in an awkward position and I don't even know if he would be interested, but you can't fault me for asking!
Teacher's Pet
Dear Pet,
A very wise man once said “Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad. I'm hot for teacher. I got it bad.”
The year was 1984 and that wise man was David Lee Roth, but the heart of this moving statement stirs up a memory in all of us of a time when we were indeed; hot for teacher!
For me, it was many moons ago when I favoured a certain whistle-blowing gym teacher with a penchant for silky short shorts. Of course, I was 12 and he may have been gay, so your teacher's pet pursuit may end up a little differently.
So you're yearning for some learning after school, eh? First things first; the rules!
Fanshawe has a lengthy Student Code of Contact that should be able to steer you towards answering the moral/ethical end of your dilemma. Of course, while you're watching Professor Prettypants working his magic through a PowerPoint presentation, I'm sure the last thing on your mind is ethical behaviour. For shame! Let's just be sure not to get him fired or you expelled as we travel down this path to domestic bliss, shall we?
Under the Administrative Policies and Human Resources section of the Fanshawe College website lays an important section called Conflict of Interest. According to this particular slice: “Any situation where an individual's personal interests may be incompatible or in conflict with her/his responsibilities as a College Employee can be perceived as a Conflict of Interests.”
Basically, you shouldn't have any type of personal relationship with a teacher, a counselor, a coach, a janitor or any of the ladies from Tim Horton's while you're going to school here. Technically, yes, once he has graded your final exam and you are officially no longer under his chalky thumb, than you two love-Falcons should be free to canoodle on campus as you please.
The tricky part might be getting this man to risk the suspicions of his peers and colleagues for a freshman romp.
I'm so eager to find out what it is that you find so irresistible about this guy; is it his snappy blazers? His crooked spectacles? His fumbling, yet charming general sense of disarray? Clearly I'm picturing this guy more John Cleese than Jonas Brother and for some reason in my head he's British.
I'm probably picturing him way too old though. He could be a young, fresh grad student finishing his thesis while teaching psych 101 at the local community college. In this case, I'm picturing him wielding his laser pointer like a light saber, quoting Kerouac and wearing vintage band tees under his cardigans. Swoon!
Either way, you clearly have some serious lust burning under your book bag that needs a release!
The one rule that every boy and girl must remember when entering into the sticky situation of asking someone to share a meal or a movie is; DON'T GO IN BLIND!
You said you “don't even know if he would be interested…” THEN STOP!
Never ask someone out cold turkey or the sheer shock of your unexpected query will result in an awkward, squirming reaction that is far from an ego stroke or a comforting affirmation of someone's requited affections. You need to lead up to a sudden change in gears or you'll be left by the side of the road clutch in hand.
I'm assuming you're thinking about initiating some kind of afterhour's connection in December. You're probably picturing yourself in a Winter Wonderland with rosy cheeks, hot chocolate, ice skates and your favourite nutty professor at your side.
Hey, anything's possible!
I guess the bottom line is, as you asked so eloquently in your letter: “would it be grossly inappropriate for you to ask him out after he's marked your final exam?”
In my humble yet, respectable opinion? No.
Men and women come together in random, unexpected ways everyday. Between Facebook, Twitter, email, MySpace and iPods we've become completely isolated creatures posing as social butterflies. It's possible to talk to friends, make and break plans, date, gamble, shop and eat without ever leaving your house or speaking to another human being. In this world, where we operate in anti-bacterial bubbles, fearful of genuine human contact, I say take what you can get.
Just be sure that grade is signed, sealed and delivered before attempting any sort of physical or emotional contact with this guy.
Good Luck! Love Lola
Got a question? Email me at lolaletters@live.ca - All emails are confidential and your identity will be protected. If you're not comfortable sending me an email, just click on the Letters to Lola link on the left side menu to send me your question.
