Love Lola: Porcelain Princess not so hot to beau when ill
Dear Lola,
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about three months. She's super hot and we've been having so much fun together. A few weeks ago, she got very sick and I rushed to be with her. I brought her magazines, made her tea and stayed with her while she slept. Unfortunately I also held her hair while she threw up and saw a very dirty, ill side of her. The trouble is I can't get the sick image of her out of my head now. I don't find her sexy anymore and I can't bring myself to touch her or even kiss her. What can I do?
Love Sick
Dear Love Sick,
Florence Nightingale move over! The first few sentences of your letter actually made me smile; you had me at magazines! Not many first trimester boyfriends would tuck a care package in their book bag and head out to play doctor, but there you were nursing your fallen angel back to health when suddenly something stopped you! Your queen turned to quarantine and your tenderness headed for the hills!
I'm sure that the image of your club kitten curled up on the bathroom floor praying to the porcelain God may have been a tad jarring. You're probably more accustomed to watching girls lose their lunch following a night of Sour Puss shots. I guess it's less appealing when your loved ones are the victim of a brutal pandemic virus and not a sloppy night of self-imposed liver poisoning.
How sad for you to have watched in horror as your gorgeous girlfriend went from fine to swine in under a week. It must have been terrifying! Forget Ontario's priority list for the administering the H1N1 vaccine; babies and seniors be damned we need to protect the hot college girls! It's a disgrace to allow young, thin, beautiful women to experience dehydration and fatigue; it must be terrible for the skin.
I'm sure the first few days were a lot easier for you to stomach. I'm sure your girlfriend was pretty adorable at first, curled up in cute PJs slurping Neo Citron? Who knew she would soon be starring in her very own gag reel and you would have exclusive front row seats?
It sounds like your heart was in the right place in the beginning. Offering to take care of someone when they're sick shows a certain kindness and warmth that isn't always brimming in bachelors. I just hope that the TLC you showed her was a genuine act of compassion and not some crude way of securing a post-hurl hookup.
I think you should give this girl a week to pull herself together. Give her time to settle her belly, catch up on some sleep and take a couple of long, hot showers. If you simply can't shake the image of her tossing her cookies then I guess you're out of luck.
I don't know what kind of barf-bowl bombshell you're hoping to find in life, but when you do grow up enough to commit yourself to someone, remember it's in sickness and in health Sweetie!
Dear Lola,
Last weekend I joined a bunch of girlfriend's for my cousin's bachelorette party. On the same night my boyfriend went out with her fiancé for the bachelor party. We were in different towns so we didn't run into each other all night. While the boys ended up playing pool and eating wings, the girls went all out with a hotel room, naughty games, a gay dance club and an all-male review. The next morning when the details came out my boyfriend was furious! He thinks I was unfaithful by participating in the games, I think it was innocent fun. Where do I go from here?
Party Girl
Dear Party Girl,
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is suffering from a pathetic case of party-envy. A round of billiards and a plate of hot wings for a bachelor party? I'm sorry, but either that story is fake, or that is the lamest group of men on the planet!
Sweetie, the description of your night sounds like the titillating tip of a delightfully sinful iceberg of bachelorette mania and why not? Bachelorette parties have replaced Halloween as the one night that a woman can be as frisky and daring as her little heart desires without fearing the judgment of others. Shame on your boyfriend for making you feel badly about your behaviour! If a woman can't get drunk on Jello shots as she's humping a gay stranger on a speaker at a retro club while dressed as her favourite Spice Girl in honour of her cousin's impending nuptials then we're in big trouble ladies!
Bachelorette parties represent the tireless efforts of decades of feminism and equal rights movements that paved the way for the post-modern working woman to own her own home, have a career, hold out for true love and have it all climax in one fantastic night where she joins a dozen friends in one last drunken, sloppy hoorah! And if you are selected as one of the Dirty Dozen it is your duty to participate! Even if that means posing for incriminating photos and possibly ending up in one or two lesbians kisses by the end of the night.
Trust me; Lola understands where you're coming from. I've attended more than my share of shady-lady parties and I'm proud of what I've been able to remember. I recall waking up once after a particularly effective bachelorette party and finding myself half-dressed in a hotel in Niagara Falls. The problem was, the party had started in Guelph!
I'm betting that your boyfriend's real issue with the whole weekend is that you girls showed the guys that you know how to throw together a kick-ass night while the lonely boys were spinning their wheels at the local pizzeria.
If you did anything that was particularly offensive (like making out with a stranger) you certainly need to apologize and absolutely blame intoxication for your actions, but please don't apologize for letting loose. This will be one of those nights that you see in flashbacks, like a great movie. A night where the photos show the most uninhibited, happy images of you and your best friends celebrating the paths your lives have taken.
When your boyfriend insists that you didn't have to go along with it, I guess you can say you had a choice. If everyone was jumping off a bridge, would you? Probably not. But when everyone is hiding Skittles in their bras and inviting strangers to ‘taste a rainbow of fruit flavor' it's pretty hard to resist.
Especially when the ringleader is a blushing bride.
Love Lola
Got a question? Email me at lolaletters@live.ca - All emails are confidential and your identity will be protected. If you're not comfortable sending me an email, just click on the Letters to Lola link on the left side menu to send me your question.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about three months. She's super hot and we've been having so much fun together. A few weeks ago, she got very sick and I rushed to be with her. I brought her magazines, made her tea and stayed with her while she slept. Unfortunately I also held her hair while she threw up and saw a very dirty, ill side of her. The trouble is I can't get the sick image of her out of my head now. I don't find her sexy anymore and I can't bring myself to touch her or even kiss her. What can I do?
Love Sick
Dear Love Sick,
Florence Nightingale move over! The first few sentences of your letter actually made me smile; you had me at magazines! Not many first trimester boyfriends would tuck a care package in their book bag and head out to play doctor, but there you were nursing your fallen angel back to health when suddenly something stopped you! Your queen turned to quarantine and your tenderness headed for the hills!
I'm sure that the image of your club kitten curled up on the bathroom floor praying to the porcelain God may have been a tad jarring. You're probably more accustomed to watching girls lose their lunch following a night of Sour Puss shots. I guess it's less appealing when your loved ones are the victim of a brutal pandemic virus and not a sloppy night of self-imposed liver poisoning.
How sad for you to have watched in horror as your gorgeous girlfriend went from fine to swine in under a week. It must have been terrifying! Forget Ontario's priority list for the administering the H1N1 vaccine; babies and seniors be damned we need to protect the hot college girls! It's a disgrace to allow young, thin, beautiful women to experience dehydration and fatigue; it must be terrible for the skin.
I'm sure the first few days were a lot easier for you to stomach. I'm sure your girlfriend was pretty adorable at first, curled up in cute PJs slurping Neo Citron? Who knew she would soon be starring in her very own gag reel and you would have exclusive front row seats?
It sounds like your heart was in the right place in the beginning. Offering to take care of someone when they're sick shows a certain kindness and warmth that isn't always brimming in bachelors. I just hope that the TLC you showed her was a genuine act of compassion and not some crude way of securing a post-hurl hookup.
I think you should give this girl a week to pull herself together. Give her time to settle her belly, catch up on some sleep and take a couple of long, hot showers. If you simply can't shake the image of her tossing her cookies then I guess you're out of luck.
I don't know what kind of barf-bowl bombshell you're hoping to find in life, but when you do grow up enough to commit yourself to someone, remember it's in sickness and in health Sweetie!
Dear Lola,
Last weekend I joined a bunch of girlfriend's for my cousin's bachelorette party. On the same night my boyfriend went out with her fiancé for the bachelor party. We were in different towns so we didn't run into each other all night. While the boys ended up playing pool and eating wings, the girls went all out with a hotel room, naughty games, a gay dance club and an all-male review. The next morning when the details came out my boyfriend was furious! He thinks I was unfaithful by participating in the games, I think it was innocent fun. Where do I go from here?
Party Girl
Dear Party Girl,
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is suffering from a pathetic case of party-envy. A round of billiards and a plate of hot wings for a bachelor party? I'm sorry, but either that story is fake, or that is the lamest group of men on the planet!
Sweetie, the description of your night sounds like the titillating tip of a delightfully sinful iceberg of bachelorette mania and why not? Bachelorette parties have replaced Halloween as the one night that a woman can be as frisky and daring as her little heart desires without fearing the judgment of others. Shame on your boyfriend for making you feel badly about your behaviour! If a woman can't get drunk on Jello shots as she's humping a gay stranger on a speaker at a retro club while dressed as her favourite Spice Girl in honour of her cousin's impending nuptials then we're in big trouble ladies!
Bachelorette parties represent the tireless efforts of decades of feminism and equal rights movements that paved the way for the post-modern working woman to own her own home, have a career, hold out for true love and have it all climax in one fantastic night where she joins a dozen friends in one last drunken, sloppy hoorah! And if you are selected as one of the Dirty Dozen it is your duty to participate! Even if that means posing for incriminating photos and possibly ending up in one or two lesbians kisses by the end of the night.
Trust me; Lola understands where you're coming from. I've attended more than my share of shady-lady parties and I'm proud of what I've been able to remember. I recall waking up once after a particularly effective bachelorette party and finding myself half-dressed in a hotel in Niagara Falls. The problem was, the party had started in Guelph!
I'm betting that your boyfriend's real issue with the whole weekend is that you girls showed the guys that you know how to throw together a kick-ass night while the lonely boys were spinning their wheels at the local pizzeria.
If you did anything that was particularly offensive (like making out with a stranger) you certainly need to apologize and absolutely blame intoxication for your actions, but please don't apologize for letting loose. This will be one of those nights that you see in flashbacks, like a great movie. A night where the photos show the most uninhibited, happy images of you and your best friends celebrating the paths your lives have taken.
When your boyfriend insists that you didn't have to go along with it, I guess you can say you had a choice. If everyone was jumping off a bridge, would you? Probably not. But when everyone is hiding Skittles in their bras and inviting strangers to ‘taste a rainbow of fruit flavor' it's pretty hard to resist.
Especially when the ringleader is a blushing bride.
Love Lola
Got a question? Email me at lolaletters@live.ca - All emails are confidential and your identity will be protected. If you're not comfortable sending me an email, just click on the Letters to Lola link on the left side menu to send me your question.
