Interwebology: Internet is for more than porn
The Internet is for porn. It has to be. The song says it is, so it must be true.
But it turns out the Internet is for more than just porn. It's also for real sex. The world wide web is there to help you with every single step on the relationship road, from first contact to date etiquette, to the inevitable break up and what to do next.
If even first contact seems dauntine, Miteru Dake (and its equivalent for women, Miterudake For Lady) is a Japanese DVD available online of women (or men) staring directly into the camera. Once eye contact is well practiced, the next step might be the Hougen CD from NR Pro that has 600 different women saying “I love you” (or, on a separate disc, “I hate you”). They also have a Chuu CD of 1,200 kiss noises to help you get comfortable with more than just the look of the fairer sex.
With communication possible, the next step is meeting someone. There are numerous dating sites ranging from plentyoffish.com's free-for-all style to eHarmony.com's compatibility system. The latter recently made news when a court order forced it to merge its heterosexual and homosexual dating services so that one is accessible through the other (similar to its Jewish, black, Christian, and senior portals) and use a shared subscription, so as not to double-charge bisexual users.
Beyond simply having a profile, one must be appealing. For example, men garner the most attention when they look away from the camera, unsmiling. Smiling and looking away is still more effective than any expression made directly to the camera.
Women, on the other hand, are better served by facing their audience with either a smiling or flirtatious expression. Their best pose is the infamous “MySpace shot,” possibly due to the fact that it often provides a better angle on cleavage. Skin helps men, too, as a muscle shot is second in effectiveness only to posing with an animal.
A word of caution ought to be offered to men who seek the advice of female friends on how to appear sexy. A multi-university study showed that while males physiological responses generally line up with the things they describe as sexy, women are more divided, tending to describe certain scenarios as sexy but without any physiological reaction, or saying something is not sexually appealing while their genital blood flow says otherwise.
Once contact is established and a date is arranged, technology will still be on your side. If you have an iPhone, there are apps available to suggest everything from conversation starters to romantic scenarios. If the date still doesn't get off the ground, the Excuse Me app works on a timer and will call your phone, providing the perfect excuse to leave early. To get you on your way in record time, Taxi Magic will even book you a cab and track its arrival on GPS.
If the date goes well, you may be firmly into relationship territory, but for bumps in the road there is always Google. Some of the most frequent “How can I get my boyfriend to...” questions include “...propose,” “...spend more time with me,” and “...be more romantic.” Men, too happily turn to the service, asking “How can I get my girlfriend to... give me head,” “...lose weight,” and “...shave.” Whatever your concern, you're probably not the first to have asked.
It's no surprise that many relationships will eventually end, and not always amicably. To protect your relationship despite your own infidelity, you can change your Facebook privacy settings (don't underestimate this one. Some couples have cited Facebook on divorce petitions), or try anonymous speech and text services to protect your cell phone records. If you think you're being cuckolded, you may want to purchase a GPS tracker, but be warned, an experienced cheater may have invested in a GPS jammer.
If you find yourself once again single, you can start again from scratch, or simply take a break from the dating scene. You can return to the quiet comfort of your own pornography collection, or even take this opportunity to upgrade. 2010 is predicted to be the year of 3D television, and the porn industry is not about to be left out.
If it's the social side of dating you miss, your smartphone is once again your best friend with FapMapper, a service that uses geolocation to help you track and share your favourite masturbation locations.
Finally, if the dating scene isn't for you but the single life seems just a little too lonely, True Companion and Real Doll are two companies that want to help. Each has developed a line of sex dolls available for order online. They are not just inflatable friends, but actual robots with programmable temperaments and personalities. They can interact with you verbally, and, with their anatomically correct silicone bodies, satisfy your more physical needs as well, all for less than $10,000.
So you see, the Internet is there for you, whether to help your social skills, assist you in the huny, or keep you otherwise preoccupied until Mr. or Mrs. right finally comes along.
But it turns out the Internet is for more than just porn. It's also for real sex. The world wide web is there to help you with every single step on the relationship road, from first contact to date etiquette, to the inevitable break up and what to do next.
If even first contact seems dauntine, Miteru Dake (and its equivalent for women, Miterudake For Lady) is a Japanese DVD available online of women (or men) staring directly into the camera. Once eye contact is well practiced, the next step might be the Hougen CD from NR Pro that has 600 different women saying “I love you” (or, on a separate disc, “I hate you”). They also have a Chuu CD of 1,200 kiss noises to help you get comfortable with more than just the look of the fairer sex.
With communication possible, the next step is meeting someone. There are numerous dating sites ranging from plentyoffish.com's free-for-all style to eHarmony.com's compatibility system. The latter recently made news when a court order forced it to merge its heterosexual and homosexual dating services so that one is accessible through the other (similar to its Jewish, black, Christian, and senior portals) and use a shared subscription, so as not to double-charge bisexual users.
Beyond simply having a profile, one must be appealing. For example, men garner the most attention when they look away from the camera, unsmiling. Smiling and looking away is still more effective than any expression made directly to the camera.
Women, on the other hand, are better served by facing their audience with either a smiling or flirtatious expression. Their best pose is the infamous “MySpace shot,” possibly due to the fact that it often provides a better angle on cleavage. Skin helps men, too, as a muscle shot is second in effectiveness only to posing with an animal.
A word of caution ought to be offered to men who seek the advice of female friends on how to appear sexy. A multi-university study showed that while males physiological responses generally line up with the things they describe as sexy, women are more divided, tending to describe certain scenarios as sexy but without any physiological reaction, or saying something is not sexually appealing while their genital blood flow says otherwise.
Once contact is established and a date is arranged, technology will still be on your side. If you have an iPhone, there are apps available to suggest everything from conversation starters to romantic scenarios. If the date still doesn't get off the ground, the Excuse Me app works on a timer and will call your phone, providing the perfect excuse to leave early. To get you on your way in record time, Taxi Magic will even book you a cab and track its arrival on GPS.
If the date goes well, you may be firmly into relationship territory, but for bumps in the road there is always Google. Some of the most frequent “How can I get my boyfriend to...” questions include “...propose,” “...spend more time with me,” and “...be more romantic.” Men, too happily turn to the service, asking “How can I get my girlfriend to... give me head,” “...lose weight,” and “...shave.” Whatever your concern, you're probably not the first to have asked.
It's no surprise that many relationships will eventually end, and not always amicably. To protect your relationship despite your own infidelity, you can change your Facebook privacy settings (don't underestimate this one. Some couples have cited Facebook on divorce petitions), or try anonymous speech and text services to protect your cell phone records. If you think you're being cuckolded, you may want to purchase a GPS tracker, but be warned, an experienced cheater may have invested in a GPS jammer.
If you find yourself once again single, you can start again from scratch, or simply take a break from the dating scene. You can return to the quiet comfort of your own pornography collection, or even take this opportunity to upgrade. 2010 is predicted to be the year of 3D television, and the porn industry is not about to be left out.
If it's the social side of dating you miss, your smartphone is once again your best friend with FapMapper, a service that uses geolocation to help you track and share your favourite masturbation locations.
Finally, if the dating scene isn't for you but the single life seems just a little too lonely, True Companion and Real Doll are two companies that want to help. Each has developed a line of sex dolls available for order online. They are not just inflatable friends, but actual robots with programmable temperaments and personalities. They can interact with you verbally, and, with their anatomically correct silicone bodies, satisfy your more physical needs as well, all for less than $10,000.
So you see, the Internet is there for you, whether to help your social skills, assist you in the huny, or keep you otherwise preoccupied until Mr. or Mrs. right finally comes along.
