Love Lola: Cheating with the ex, sad traveler and puppy love

Dear Lola,
I've been dating this super sweet guy for about a year and he couldn't be nicer. Unfortunately, he also couldn't be more boring. I love how reliable he is, but I need more passion in my relationship. I feel horrible, but I've recently started sleeping with my ex. He's kind of a jerk who liked to cheat on me, but he's so much more exciting to be with. Which guy do you think is a better choice?
Double Trouble


Dear Trouble,
There are two things that I look for when shopping for a new car; nice and reliable. These are certainly not the two things at the top of my list when I am shopping for a boyfriend! Your description of your beau is just plain sad. It sounds like you're referring to an old sweater, not a lover.

This ex on the other hand sounds like a disaster! Not only did he cheat on you, he clearly sees no ethical dilemma in cheating with you either. Here's a tip genius; if someone cheats on you once, he'll continue to cheat on you every chance he gets. Just because you're involved in a new secret affair with this loser, don't fool yourself into thinking he's changed. Don't confuse lust with trust baby, he's the same cheating bastard, you're just seeing him from the other side of the fence now.

As far as this other guy goes, you need to walk away. Not only because continuing to be in a relationship with someone who actually bores you is a punishment beyond comprehension, but also because you're kind of a selfish bitch and he should be as far away from you as possible.

My advice? Try being single for a while and work on how to be a mature and respectful partner before interfering in any more lives.

Good Luck Sister!

Dear Lola,
I'm graduating this year and I wanted to celebrate with a fun weekend getaway. I asked a few people and a friend agreed to come with me to Vegas in May. The problem is, I didn't invite my best friend. She has two kids, she doesn't have a lot of money and I knew she wouldn't be able to go. I honestly thought she wouldn't care. Now that she knows, she's super upset that she wasn't included. What can I do now?
Sad Grad


Dear Grad,
Well, congratulations on graduating from college and running head-on in the real world. While you were busy scoping out hotels and cheap flights, you were driving straight into a social catastrophe without even realizing it. You planned a trip and didn't invite your best friend? Tisk, tisk darling.

Though your reasoning may have made sense while you were surfin' Travelocity at 2 a.m., in the harsh light of day you kind of look like a jerk. Who cares if this girl has 12 kids and $5? You still owe your ‘best' friend the courtesy of an invite. We all know that when you assume you make an ‘ass' out of ‘u and me,' right? Well, in this case, you're the ass and your friend is the sad schmuck who was left out of celebrating your success.

In the future, invite your closest girls and allow each of them to back out gracefully if they are unable to attend for any reason. Perhaps she's got money saved for a rainy day? Maybe with two kids she could really use a weekend away with the girls? Truthfully, you'll never know if she would have said yes, because you never gave her the opportunity to accept your invitation.

In the future, cast a wider net and be sure to bring her a pretty sweet souvenir.

Good Luck!

Dear Lola,
I'm graduating in two months and then I'm off to Vancouver where I have accepted a position at a well-known company. This is basically my dream come true. Of course, after being single for the last two years I've also just started dating a girl who is so amazing. I'm actually considering giving it all up and staying here for one more year. How far should I go for love?
Puppy Love


Dear Puppy,
I'm a romantic. I proudly wear my heart on my sleeve; I cried reading Wuthering Heights, I always root for the guy to pick his best girlfriend at the end of a movie and I even watched the first few seasons of the Bachelor. I'm in love with love, or more accurately; I'm in love with the idea that true love exists if you're willing to sacrifice everything to find it.

Of course, even though I believe in love and I hope for love, I'm also a realist with bills to pay and a retirement fund to build so I rarely make any romantic decision that could compromise my financial security. Therein lies my problem with answering your question; I wish you hadn't suckered me with the addition of a career-making opportunity. Gah! Sure, life is better when you're allowed to be impulsive and take risks, but it's also very enjoyable when you have enough money in your pocket to buy yourself flowers and order breakfast in bed (FYI: my favourite activity of all time).

Here's my advice; take one year. Move, take the job, but keep the girl. Keep her close; webcams, Facebook and Skype have made long distance relationships hip, convenient and less risky than ever before. In one year, if you're still in this happy place then you should jump right in; she can move there, you can move back, you can both move to Siberia for all it matters. When you know you've found your person it's pretty priceless.

Good Luck!

Love Lola

Letters to Lola

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