It's an issue that doesn't go away but still happens more than you think: rape.

Recently, the issue has been revived thanks in part to an article by American University student 20- year-old Alex Knepper, just in time as Sexual Abuse Awareness and Prevention month begins.

The openly gay student even received attention from the national media with ABC News devoting time to it.

The gist of his column about “date rape” is that it's an “incoherent concept.” He uses the general example of girls who willingly get wasted at fraternity parties, then sleeps with a guy, regrets it and cries date rape.

His beliefs that when women engage in certain types of behaviour, they almost deserve to get raped, is only adding support to the backwards idea that women sometimes “ask for it.”

His black-and-white approach of “there's rape and there's not-rape” only shows how little people really understand about the issue. But his point of the lines of consent in sex being blurry is valid.

Rape is a completely inexcusable crime and both men and women need to understand that.

While it is sickening that just because a girl gets drunk and flirty — while not explicitly saying yes to sex, boys may think it's an invitation for a free lay; it's also inappropriate for girls to use date-rape as a way to get out of feeling embarrassed for a situation they willingly engaged in.

Date rape is not something to be thrown around and can devalue the real horrors some individuals experience.

One individual faced this and dealt with the consequences that nearly ruined his life.

After engaging in a consensual hook-up, Eric* faced sexual assault charges that were later downgraded to common assault. The incident nearly ruined his life before he found out through friends the girl exaggerated because she was embarrassed. Now it's in the past, but what happened still weighs heavy on his present.

“Coming through an incident like that, I certainly feel threatened by the power of accusation or fingerpointing,” he said.

“I'm hesitant about making any kind of physical or verbal move on any girl because of the (possible) repercussions. That is, unless, she's clear or even persistent that compliments and gestures are okay.”

Returning to the issues of consent. Knepper cannot argue that a girl who is wasted and stumbles into a room with a guy is therefore giving her consent. It's an unfortunate stereotype that a drunk girl means she's ready to go.

As Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon.com writes, perhaps a “yes means yes” system should be encouraged — an enthusiastic, coherent yes.

Women should have the freedom to enter into situations without fearing for her safety, especially something like a party, which in most cases wouldn't be considered the most dangerous of arenas.

“Women should be safe wherever they are. Period,” said Heather Fredin of the Sexual Assault Centre in London. “She should be able to say ‘yes' or ‘no' on a variety of sexual contact.”

“She can agree on kissing him but not sexual intercourse.”

Fredin adds that stereotypes like “she was flirting” or “she was wearing a short skirt” are not invitations. She also supports the idea of “asking for yes's.”

“It's a lot clearer,” she explained. “Keep checking for yes's.”

Alcohol usage is an outside factor that often comes into play in these situations and obviously played a prominent part of Knepper's argument. It is often the case that women have a few drinks and are sexually assaulted, said Fredin but it just adds to the double standard.

“Guys can go out and have beers and have little anxiety,” she said.

Alcohol creates gray areas as well. Just because someone is intoxicated, does not mean they have the best judgment — as many know and there is an additional responsibility for men and women to respect each other's safety.

A former Fanshawe student, Tracey* entered into a situation that in any other context should have been safe, despite the inclusion of alcohol. After going for drinks with a classmate she also knew from high school, she joined him at his apartment but made it clear she was not going to sleep with him even before they reached his place.

Once inside the apartment, he forced himself on her. She has since reported it, but says the effects of the event have permeated her life. She wonders if she did anything wrong — why did she go back to his house? — but realizes she believed she was safe, and she was friendly. She feels like now she can't be that way as easily, she said.

“It's a constant worry or headache, something that doesn't go away,” she said. “Certain things trigger it, certain places.”

Being on either side of date rape is life-changing, but obviously in the worst way. Writers like Knepper are trying to lessen the effects of date rape when this is a time when more serious discussion should be taking place — with both genders understanding the severity of it.

*Names have been changed.

"Why do you think people are scared to talk about sexual assault?"

		Anonymous - “I think sexual assault isn’t reported by people because of the paranoia they can experience of going through it all over again. The experience is humiliating and degrading for both male and female. Even if they do go and report it, something traumatic like this would cause them to relive it all when retelling the incident.”
		Natasha Oliver - “I say its the fear of being looked down on by others. It’s like when people get assaulted or abused they think people will look down on them because something like that happened to them so they’re scared of what others will think of them after that.”
		Nina Needham - “It’s traumatic, it’s not something they want to talk about it. I think people have to come to terms with it before they can talk about, that’s why I think anyone that’s been sexually assaulted doesn’t talk about until long after it’s happened.”
		Vanessa Roque - “I think they’re more embarrassed to talk about it to people... they’re scared to talk about it because they just don’t want others to know about it, it’s not something you’d want others talking about..”