Ms. Guidance: The 12 quandries of Christmas: holiday questions answered
Well, dear readers, it is that time of year of again. Snow is in the air — sometimes on the ground — oranges are in season, the academic term is winding down, and soon, it will be the holiday season. In celebration of this, I have been stockpiling questions about Christmas which require short answers so that I may bring to you an extra-special installment of my column.
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I am incapable of wrapping presents. Normally my sister would wrap them, but I will not be seeing my sister until Christmas day. What should I do?
Three concepts, six words: gift bags, gift bags, gift bags. They are easy and relatively inexpensive. Dollar stores tend to have some really nice options, all for $1.00/each. Just put the present in the bag give it the old Christmassy-coloured tissue paper shove & fluff and you're good! (P.S. This season, White Oaks Mall and Masonville Mall will be offering FREE gift wrapping, however, they may not wish to wrap all 25 of your gifts for you as that would be taking advantage.)
Dear Ms.Guidance
Christmas is always a very stressful time with lots to do at my house. I was thinking about forgoing it, but it would make my Mom sad. How should I break it to her that I want to stay at my home for the holidays, alone?
Listen Mcaulay, there are just some situations which are not about you. If you not going home for Christmas carries with it the possibility of your mother being sad, then just go home.
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I will be giving my girlfriend's parents a Christmas card this year and I was wondering if I should mail it with the rest of the cards, or just send it home with my girlfriend?
Sending it via your girlfriend may seem like an afterthought. I would mail it.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
I am feeling a little homesick and I think it will only start to worsen when the holidays get here and my home is devoid of decoration. Do you know of any simple, inexpensive ways to decorate for Christmas?
There are plenty of ways to Christmas-up the joint without splurging! Buying strings of white lights to string up all over is a classic. Or buy some inexpensive Christmas cards and hang them up. There are plenty of little fake pine trees on the market that stand up two and a half feet that fold up and store away when you're done. Recently though, it was suggested to me that I try going to a Christmas tree lot and ask for their clippings to make a wreath, or jimmy rig them into something tree-like. There are lots of options out there; be creative!
Dear Ms.Guidance,
What should I get my Mom for Christmas?
I don't know your mother. My only suggestion is NOT bath stuff. Bath stuff is such a cop out.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
I am supposed to be contributing some sort of desert to my family's Christmas dinner but I am cheap and bad in the kitchen. Any suggestions?
Shortbread. Literally as easy as one-two-one-again…and some vanilla.
1 cup butter
2 cups flour (substitute rice flour if you feel adventurous or like particularly “short” bread)
1 cup confectioner's sugar
1 tsp vanilla
Though some recipes tend to call for salt and baking soda, this is my grandmother's and it is no fail. Mix everything together and bake for about 20 minutes at 350 degrees, and they will be delicious. On a personal note, these cookies become all the more delicious when topped with a healthy slathering of butter cream icing and then frozen at least over night and served cold.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
Ham is for Easter, turkey is for Thanksgiving…what is the traditional meal for Christmas?
I am pretty sure goose. Yes, I would have to say goose. Though I have it on good authority that goose is rather gross, so I don't suggest serving or eating it.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
What do you want for Christmas?
What I want, more than anything, is Dance Revolution for PS2, which currently can't be had for love or money. *sigh* So, I guess I will have to settle for a Red Rider Bebe Gun with a compass in the stalk and a little thing that tells time.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
Every year my Uncle makes his “famous” Eggnog and is constantly pressuring me to drink it. I hate Eggnog but don't want to be rude. How do I tell him I don't like it without being impolite?
I would say “Stop with the Eggnog already, Uncle Philip!” because there is no such thing as impolite when it comes to drinks made with eggs. Everyone knows that Eggnog is gross. It's called Eggnog, for goodness sake! How could anything be more disgusting? I feel sick just thinking about it…
Dear Ms.Guidance,
Please settle a dispute for me, is Nightmare Before Christmas a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie?
I think that it is an all-the-time movie, personally. But, specifically, I would say more Christmas than Halloween.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
I am planning a party with all of those really cheesy Christmas videos. Of course we will have Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman but I cannot think of the others I used to watch as a kid. Do you remember more?
Santa Claus is Coming to Town was my favourite. It has Mickey Rooney as Santa. There was also The Little Drummer Boy, which I found dry. Those are the only ones in the ‘70's stop-and-go genre that I can recall, or find information on. I would also suggest A Chipmunk Christmas, and The Animaniac's Christmas Special, they are classics!
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I hate shopping but I have to buy people presents, what should I do?
Christmas Shopping: The Drinking Game.
Need to be Ms.Guided? ms.guidance@gmail.com
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I am incapable of wrapping presents. Normally my sister would wrap them, but I will not be seeing my sister until Christmas day. What should I do?
Three concepts, six words: gift bags, gift bags, gift bags. They are easy and relatively inexpensive. Dollar stores tend to have some really nice options, all for $1.00/each. Just put the present in the bag give it the old Christmassy-coloured tissue paper shove & fluff and you're good! (P.S. This season, White Oaks Mall and Masonville Mall will be offering FREE gift wrapping, however, they may not wish to wrap all 25 of your gifts for you as that would be taking advantage.)
Dear Ms.Guidance
Christmas is always a very stressful time with lots to do at my house. I was thinking about forgoing it, but it would make my Mom sad. How should I break it to her that I want to stay at my home for the holidays, alone?
Listen Mcaulay, there are just some situations which are not about you. If you not going home for Christmas carries with it the possibility of your mother being sad, then just go home.
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I will be giving my girlfriend's parents a Christmas card this year and I was wondering if I should mail it with the rest of the cards, or just send it home with my girlfriend?
Sending it via your girlfriend may seem like an afterthought. I would mail it.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
I am feeling a little homesick and I think it will only start to worsen when the holidays get here and my home is devoid of decoration. Do you know of any simple, inexpensive ways to decorate for Christmas?
There are plenty of ways to Christmas-up the joint without splurging! Buying strings of white lights to string up all over is a classic. Or buy some inexpensive Christmas cards and hang them up. There are plenty of little fake pine trees on the market that stand up two and a half feet that fold up and store away when you're done. Recently though, it was suggested to me that I try going to a Christmas tree lot and ask for their clippings to make a wreath, or jimmy rig them into something tree-like. There are lots of options out there; be creative!
Dear Ms.Guidance,
What should I get my Mom for Christmas?
I don't know your mother. My only suggestion is NOT bath stuff. Bath stuff is such a cop out.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
I am supposed to be contributing some sort of desert to my family's Christmas dinner but I am cheap and bad in the kitchen. Any suggestions?
Shortbread. Literally as easy as one-two-one-again…and some vanilla.
1 cup butter
2 cups flour (substitute rice flour if you feel adventurous or like particularly “short” bread)
1 cup confectioner's sugar
1 tsp vanilla
Though some recipes tend to call for salt and baking soda, this is my grandmother's and it is no fail. Mix everything together and bake for about 20 minutes at 350 degrees, and they will be delicious. On a personal note, these cookies become all the more delicious when topped with a healthy slathering of butter cream icing and then frozen at least over night and served cold.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
Ham is for Easter, turkey is for Thanksgiving…what is the traditional meal for Christmas?
I am pretty sure goose. Yes, I would have to say goose. Though I have it on good authority that goose is rather gross, so I don't suggest serving or eating it.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
What do you want for Christmas?
What I want, more than anything, is Dance Revolution for PS2, which currently can't be had for love or money. *sigh* So, I guess I will have to settle for a Red Rider Bebe Gun with a compass in the stalk and a little thing that tells time.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
Every year my Uncle makes his “famous” Eggnog and is constantly pressuring me to drink it. I hate Eggnog but don't want to be rude. How do I tell him I don't like it without being impolite?
I would say “Stop with the Eggnog already, Uncle Philip!” because there is no such thing as impolite when it comes to drinks made with eggs. Everyone knows that Eggnog is gross. It's called Eggnog, for goodness sake! How could anything be more disgusting? I feel sick just thinking about it…
Dear Ms.Guidance,
Please settle a dispute for me, is Nightmare Before Christmas a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie?
I think that it is an all-the-time movie, personally. But, specifically, I would say more Christmas than Halloween.
Dear Ms.Guidance,
I am planning a party with all of those really cheesy Christmas videos. Of course we will have Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman but I cannot think of the others I used to watch as a kid. Do you remember more?
Santa Claus is Coming to Town was my favourite. It has Mickey Rooney as Santa. There was also The Little Drummer Boy, which I found dry. Those are the only ones in the ‘70's stop-and-go genre that I can recall, or find information on. I would also suggest A Chipmunk Christmas, and The Animaniac's Christmas Special, they are classics!
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I hate shopping but I have to buy people presents, what should I do?
Christmas Shopping: The Drinking Game.
Need to be Ms.Guided? ms.guidance@gmail.com
