Samantha and Jayson (last names withheld by request) have been dating for two years. In speaking to them over the phone, hearing their little jokes and pauses, it was clear that they are very much in love.

Jay and Sam met while working together at Wal-Mart. "We were friends for a really long time first, and Jay had a crush on me for a really long time," remembered Sam. "But I was really weirded out by the whole trans thing."

Jay and Sam began dating when Jay was pre-op and pre-T, meaning he had not yet had gender reassignment surgery, nor had he started taking testosterone hormones to begin the transition process.

Over the past 15 months, Jay has been taking testosterone to deepen his voice, grow facial hair and slowly change his appearance to be more masculine. "I've always seen Jay as a boy, so watching him change on T hasn't been that weird," said Sam. The small changes have added up over time, though, and she said there was one thing that really struck her. "I was watching old videos the other day and I never realized how much his voice has changed."

Both Sam and Jay identify as heterosexual.

"For me, Jay is a boy because his gender is male, even if the rest of him isn't. It's gender, not genitals," Sam explained simply.

Sometimes, however according to Jay, transgendered people still feel inadequate compared to cisgendered (individuals who were born male and identify as male, for example) people. Jay recalled an incident from when he and Sam began dating, and Sam showed interest in other guys from work. "You don't feel like you're real," he said, adding that he felt as though biological guys were superior or somehow more desirable.

For many people, sexual orientation and gender are difficult to separate.

"We (in the trans community) truly see sex and gender as separate entities because of our core feelings that define our gender identity ... The fact is, all of us were born with the wrong 'equipment,'" explained Kimberley, founder of the Transgender London website. "The lesbian, gay and bisexual communities don't have those feelings of gender incongruence so their gender identity is quite normal."

Dating as a transgendered individual — or dating a transgendered person — can sometimes add a bit more complication to the already-messy world of dating.

Not all transgendered people are as lucky as Jay, who has Sam by his side as he goes through the transition process. "The period of transition for any of us is the most difficult because we don't fit anywhere," said Kimberley. "The transwoman especially, has a hard time because she is often seen as a 'man in a dress.' A very, very, lucky few of us can actually 'pass' and possibly find a relationship but that is a real rarity."

"If a girl has a pot of gold, she can afford the $30,000 to $80,000 for needed cosmetic surgery (beyond sexual reassignment surgery at $20,000), to make those changes," Kimberley continued. "These girls are usually successful in some measure of finding a heterosexual partner, but again, it is difficult because, most men just can't wrap their heads around the fact that their partner was once 'a man.' Some of us are lesbians, of course, and manage to find lesbian partners. This is probably the more common thing."

As for dating etiquette, when Jay and Sam began dating, "I probably did everything wrong," laughed Sam.

First of all, being sensitive to correct terms and using a person's proper name and pronouns is of utmost importance.

"A lot of people don't get it" said Jay. "People think you've taken a boys name and you want to be called 'he.' People don't know that there is hormone therapy, they just think sex change. They don't get how it works."

As is true in any dating scene, it all boils down to mutual respect for each other.

According to Kimberley, "Sensitivity toward the trans partner is really critical. Transwomen usually have an unrealistic view of femininity, so that is a bit of a barrier sometimes. Transmen equally want to be seen and treated as men. I think those are probably the first and foremost criterion for dating."

"I think that it's important for the transgendered person to be understanding that not everyone has encountered someone like them before," said Sam. "People aren't trying to be rude, it just comes across like that sometimes," because of the intensely personal nature of the questions that may be asked.

Jay said that he thinks honesty is probably the best policy when dating. "If you are transgendered and trying to start a relationship, I think it's important and probably safe to tell the person early on. You don't want to put yourself in danger, and you don't want to deceive someone, but that's how it may be perceived."

"Generally the rules would be the same as in a heterosexual dating relationship," said Kimberley. "Be honest, be sincere, be sensitive, but above all, be normal."

For more information about Transgender London, visit transgenderlondon.com.