B.A.L.L.S.: A solution for those pesky door-to-door salesmen The 1950s saw the birth of the door-todoor salesman: bibles, encyclopedias, housewares, insurance, Fuller brushes and the new promise of plastic - Tupperware. I wonder how these people were received back then? I would hazard that they were a welcome addition to the day. It was a different time in the '50s: people were enthralled with new products, they weren't yet jaded with the bombardment of media and ads. They didn't have the Internet and they were looking for new ways to suck dirt off of the floor, to store food, to carpet over their hardwood floors, to put up bright yellow flowerpatterned wallpaper in their kitchens and pink tiles in their washrooms.

Now, in an age where we are continually bombarded with advertisements, I find these 'visits' quite irritating. We are literally exposed to thousands of ads each day. Ads telling us how much we suck, and what we need to buy to make it better. The big difference between the exposure of advertisements and door-to-door salespeople is that with ads, we have a choice. I can look, avert, buy-in or sell-out; it is up to me. With the sales peddler, one is confronted, bullied, irritated and pushed into situations often out of our control. Yes, one is free to just close the door, but we have been confronted and the emotions involved with confrontation have been deployed.

A part of me holds sympathy for people forced into thankless jobs like door-to-door sales and telemarketing. Many people are scrambling to make ends meet. A larger part of me finds this sort of pressure sales irritating, rude and imposing! There is a commonality to the salesperson that reeks of effort: the ability to take advantage of fear and ignorance, well-honed scripts and the ability to create need where none exists. This seems to cover most of our modern day peddlers: insurance sales, house repairs, real estate and, the most imposing (to me), the religion peddler. These people actually come to your door and tell you that your belief system is wrong. That you must follow their belief system, their way of thought, their dogma and their overbearing way of life. It is bad enough that I have to listen to a canned speech about salvation and cheap suits, but these religion peddlers actually think that they are doing me a favour!

An odd bit of irony: the only day of the year that we not only encourage people to knock on our door, but we reward them for doing so ... Halloween.

Door-to-door peddlers are trained to sell; we are not trained to resist. We don't need a guilt trip to give money to a charity, or to buy a box of gross cookies. We don't have to get up from the couch while nursing a hangover and watching Judge Judy. We don't need new windows, or insurance, or our gutters cleaned, and maybe we want to burn in Hell! Maybe, just maybe, I want my home to be the only place in the entire world where I can control my environment!

The imposition of sales goes beyond the home in our society. Even in the halls of Fanshawe: walking down the sunny hall in front of the school store, there are often people selling one thing or another. That is fine, but do you have to stop me, confront me and pitch to me as I go about my business?

Some are just doing a job that they don't even want to do. Some are extremely passionate about a cause or belief. Some are raising money for a school or a club. What they all have in common is that they are setting out to confront. Their goal is to talk you into something on their terms. They initiate the confrontation and leave little room to escape.

I feel enough pressure with the busker in front of the liquor store, or the homeless guy asking for money on the street corner, or every time I open my mailbox (both snail and e-mail), or walking the halls of Fanshawe, or downtown or Earth. Is a moment to ourselves too much to ask? Can one not find solace in a capitalist society?

There is an ordinance in the United States called the Green River Ordinance that prohibits door-to-door solicitation. It roughly states that it is illegal to sell products or services door-to-door without gaining permission beforehand.

This has yet to find footing in Canada to date, but I have a solution: we should take all the sales peddlers and give them a Dickey- Dee ice cream cart! Have them dingle and jingle up and down the streets to draw out the lonely, the windowless and the sinners. They get into shape, and only those that are interested are involved, oh, and it would be hilarious.

B.A.L.L.S. is Bitching About Life in London and Society
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