In the media, strippers are often portrayed as living a glamorous lifestyle: they have money, fame and lots of friends.

But in real life, when the curtains draw to a final close, some dancers say they feel isolation and shame. Some think they have no other way to make a living. Others believe they have no other skills and just fall into a pit and succumb to the lifestyle. But some stay optimistic and try to separate themselves from the job and the people they entertain.

Two very different perspectives on the adult entertainment industry are given here: a man and woman, both parents and enigmatic individuals, and both with reasons why they have chosen to be exotic dancers. Their names are being kept private for confidentiality reasons.

M is an outgoing and friendly woman. She describes her foray into exotic dancing as a way to express herself and make a living.

M started fighting to stay alive when she was 15 and living on the streets in London. She slept in banks, in back alleys and under bridges, worrying where she would spend the next night. She panhandled and busked to earn cash and wasn't introduced to strip dancing until a chance encounter with a friend.

"A few of my girlfriends were offered money for sex and they asked me to come along when they went to a meeting. The guy wanted me to perform a sexual act, and I started to yell, scream and put up a fight."

"I ended up leaving the hotel and told my boyfriend."

Discouragement didn't come from her boyfriend, however. "He told me, 'Well, you are hot,' and got me a fake ID." Soon after, M began working at the strip clubs because she wasn't satisfied with panhandling anymore.

M found she actually enjoyed it. She described the first time she performed: she took off her clothes was with another woman who was slightly older than herself. She remembered the shouts of excitement from the male and female audience, and enjoyed the attention.

"I loved it. I loved the attention and the glamour."

M kept stripping until this year. She recalled being 19 when the dancing scene changed: before it was dancing on tables, then it moved to VIP rooms, then touching was allowed between the audience and the performer. But M knew that she didn't like that. "I wasn't comfortable with that. I just wanted to hit them!"

But upon mentioning to a friend about her "fighting back," her friend suggested a change to domination. She could actually get paid to beat up men. "Dominating was done at the strip clubs, so it was safer than going to their houses or them coming to mine."

M defined lingo in the adult entertainment industry. Being the "dominant" in an S&M role-play means to be the one giving the demands. They are also referred to as "being on top." Being the "submissive" partner means to be the one being hit or being on the "bottom." A "slave" refers to someone with no boundaries and obeys every command by the "dominant." One can also be a "foot slave," or even sleep in a cage.

"Vanilla" means to be "straight-edge" — no S&M outfits or behaviour. Many fetish parties are "vanilla" to keep the party under wraps and not raise suspicion over what's going on.

M also admitted she was married to a police officer while doing jobs as an exotic dancer. "Buddies of his used to comment, 'You wear the badge, but who wears the pants?'" she giggled.

Though she has changed careers, M added, "Technically, I'm not out of the stripping industry—I just don't do it at clubs anymore. It's a lifestyle: I love the power and I honestly don't know if I could do anything else. I'm probably not going to stop." She also admitted a fascination with dominating. "I like empowering men. It brings them out of their shell."

The perks are very visible. She "owns" many men (successful businessmen, lawyers and other professionals) and gets paid $300 as an under-the-table allowance. She has been on exotic vacations with her customers and can nearly get anything she wants. She has been to college for nursing and stays busy involving herself with fashion shows, the Salvation Army and helping in the mental health community.

B is a confident and generous man. He is athletic and a busy businessman. For him, a temptation of stripping is the money you make every night you entertain and the resulting internal conflict that can arise from the lifestyle. B keeps a level head about the business and added that dancers have to "think of it like a job and separate yourself from it."

B admitted to pulling in $500 every night, sometimes more. But he keeps a solid head on his shoulders when he performs, plays it up, then gets his responsible side back the next day.

He lent self-deprecating humour in a response to a question as to why he chose to entertain for a female audience: "I like to dance and I like women—it's simple!"

B began exotic dancing in Montreal at Club 21 when his friends encouraged him to give it a try. He added that it was a novelty at first and the industry back then was easier to deal with when he started dancing.

"Drugs came into the equation later on. I always stayed away from it, but there were a lot of steroids, Viagra, cocaine, ecstasy, marijuana and drinking. I knew a guy who took so many drugs that he died of a heart attack in his sleep. And he was a very healthy guy!"

While M felt anger when being grabbed by male observers, B commented that women are generally more polite when the performance is on. A male audience can be scary and arrogant. A female audience is more likely to be friendly and passive. Men tend to want to show bravado while a woman performs, while during a male entertainer, a female audience is more respectful.

B added that there is a lot of travelling with the lifestyle of exotic dancing. He used to perform with a troupe, but gave that up because he didn't have the time.

He also explained that dancing keeps him in shape. When he knows shows are coming up, he puts pressure on him to get to the gym, eat healthily and take care of himself. After all, he wants to look good when he's dancing.

This lifestyle is not for the naïve, faint of heart or vulnerable. M and B both explained there are perks to the job, but they also noted the darker aspect of performing. Besides drugs, there is also the reality that you are extremely vulnerable and can be enticed into a world that isn't safe.

M looked out the window and a glaze came over her eyes as she finds the words:

"If you are lost or looking to belong, I wouldn't recommend you go to strip clubs."