Love, Lust and Lies: What's in a Facebook status?
What is your Facebook status:
single, in a relationship, it's complicated,
engaged or married?
These statuses can be useful to help
determine whether or not someone
is in a relationship, but other than
that they only create problems.
Millions of people obsess about
pictures, wall posts or even how a
person knows someone. Facebook
has a huge influence on relationships,
and not in a good way.
At the beginning of your relationship, how many of you were upset that your partner's relationship status still said 'single?' Did it make you feel like they weren't as interested in a relationship? If that wasn't a problem, what about deciding how long you should wait before you change your status to 'in a relationship,' or if you should change it at all? Some people do it immediately; others wait more than a year. Is one relationship stronger than the other? Probably not, but it makes you think about it.
In one of my relationships, about a day after we made it official, I got a notification on Facebook saying that he wanted to be 'in a relationship.' I didn't feel like I needed to announce my personal life to everyone, but I knew if I didn't accept the invitation, he would be mad and think there was a reason I didn't want people to know I was dating him. I felt like I was forced into declaring my relationship over Facebook because if I didn't, it would just cause problems.
There is even an issue with adding the name of who you are in a relationship with. If you aren't adding the person's name, are you ashamed of them, or if you add a name does that mean you want everyone to know they are "yours?" These questions alone can cause tension, and this is only about a status.
Insecurities escalate when you see another guy or girl post on your partner's wall and you don't know who it is or how your partner knows them. Next thing you know, they are tagged in a photo with that person in a compromising position. It can create stress in your relationship and make you question if they are being truthful to you.
I was dating this guy who would constantly get Facebook messages from this girl he worked with. It started to drive me crazy because I knew she liked him and the daily Facebook updates were a clear reminder. I never wanted to say how much it upset me, but I started to second-guess everything he told me and I began to act differently towards him. If Facebook didn't exist, that never would have happened; it brought out my insecurities and it had a negative effect on that relationship. I know I am not alone; many people have been in similar situations, but no one likes to admit it.
Insecurities can be shown through the way we communicate with our boyfriend or girlfriend on Facebook. Yes, it's cute to have a display picture of you and your boyfriend, but does every picture you post have to be just you two? Don't even get me started on couples that feel the need to post hearts and love messages all over each other's walls. These displays of affection make you come across as insecure in the relationship because you constantly need to show everyone you are together. There is nothing wrong with a Facebook post here and there, but writing "I love you" every day is a little much.
Not only does Facebook affect your relationship, once you end that relationship, it makes it harder to move on. It was easier to get over someone before Facebook was invented; sure, you would randomly think about them and wonder how they are, but if you're still friends with them on Facebook, you no longer wonder — you know! The worst is when you break up because they don't want a relationship, then after a short time apart, you see their relationship status change from 'single' to 'in a relationship.' It may not make you insecure about that relationship, but that can cause you to become less confident in yourself.
Facebook influences relationships and it's not for the better. If anything, it breeds insecurity in our relationships that wouldn't necessarily exist if it weren't for this social phenomenon. Sometimes it's better not knowing every detail about a person, especially when it only leaves you with more questions and doubts.
At the beginning of your relationship, how many of you were upset that your partner's relationship status still said 'single?' Did it make you feel like they weren't as interested in a relationship? If that wasn't a problem, what about deciding how long you should wait before you change your status to 'in a relationship,' or if you should change it at all? Some people do it immediately; others wait more than a year. Is one relationship stronger than the other? Probably not, but it makes you think about it.
In one of my relationships, about a day after we made it official, I got a notification on Facebook saying that he wanted to be 'in a relationship.' I didn't feel like I needed to announce my personal life to everyone, but I knew if I didn't accept the invitation, he would be mad and think there was a reason I didn't want people to know I was dating him. I felt like I was forced into declaring my relationship over Facebook because if I didn't, it would just cause problems.
There is even an issue with adding the name of who you are in a relationship with. If you aren't adding the person's name, are you ashamed of them, or if you add a name does that mean you want everyone to know they are "yours?" These questions alone can cause tension, and this is only about a status.
Insecurities escalate when you see another guy or girl post on your partner's wall and you don't know who it is or how your partner knows them. Next thing you know, they are tagged in a photo with that person in a compromising position. It can create stress in your relationship and make you question if they are being truthful to you.
I was dating this guy who would constantly get Facebook messages from this girl he worked with. It started to drive me crazy because I knew she liked him and the daily Facebook updates were a clear reminder. I never wanted to say how much it upset me, but I started to second-guess everything he told me and I began to act differently towards him. If Facebook didn't exist, that never would have happened; it brought out my insecurities and it had a negative effect on that relationship. I know I am not alone; many people have been in similar situations, but no one likes to admit it.
Insecurities can be shown through the way we communicate with our boyfriend or girlfriend on Facebook. Yes, it's cute to have a display picture of you and your boyfriend, but does every picture you post have to be just you two? Don't even get me started on couples that feel the need to post hearts and love messages all over each other's walls. These displays of affection make you come across as insecure in the relationship because you constantly need to show everyone you are together. There is nothing wrong with a Facebook post here and there, but writing "I love you" every day is a little much.
Not only does Facebook affect your relationship, once you end that relationship, it makes it harder to move on. It was easier to get over someone before Facebook was invented; sure, you would randomly think about them and wonder how they are, but if you're still friends with them on Facebook, you no longer wonder — you know! The worst is when you break up because they don't want a relationship, then after a short time apart, you see their relationship status change from 'single' to 'in a relationship.' It may not make you insecure about that relationship, but that can cause you to become less confident in yourself.
Facebook influences relationships and it's not for the better. If anything, it breeds insecurity in our relationships that wouldn't necessarily exist if it weren't for this social phenomenon. Sometimes it's better not knowing every detail about a person, especially when it only leaves you with more questions and doubts.
