Long Distance Love: What to do when they're back
You've put in your time being
away from each other, and you
managed to survive until you can
spend time with your significant
other again. Now you're back in
the same city and everything is
right with the world. Right?
It would be nice to think that the challenges that are unique to long distance relationships simply disappear when you and your partner find yourselves in the same place at the same time again, however things don't always work out quite as neatly as you may hope. There are still a few obstacles to be aware of, even when you're together. Here are a few tips for how to keep everyone happy when the distance is gone:
- Set up realistic expectations between the two of you. Let your partner know how much time you would like to spend with them while you're both home, and ask them how much they want to spend with you. This will allow you to avoid the unpleasantness that can come with expecting that they want to spend every waking second with you, when in reality that probably won't happen.
- Set up expectations with family and friends. You are not the only person that your partner missed while you were separated, and you were also not the only person missing them. For the person who has been out of town, there will be family and friends who want to share the time that they are back. The best thing to do is to be realistic about your situation. If you are in a new or casual relationship, you should probably expect that family time will comprise much of the time the out-of-towner is home. However, if you are married, you can put your foot down with the inlaws and say, "We are a family now. We need to spend this time together."
- Don't fall into a couple coma. It can be tempting when you find yourselves together again to forget about everything else in your lives and simply shut yourselves away while you're both home. This is a bad idea. You have relied on your family and friends to get you through the tough days, and it would be rude of you to ignore them when everything is good in your life. Don't be that person who only spends time with their friends and family when you are down; let those people in your life share your good times, too. Also, make sure not to forget about school or work obligations, as this could lead to far-reaching consequences that you might not think about in the moment.
Hopefully these tips will help you get the most out of the time that have together.
It would be nice to think that the challenges that are unique to long distance relationships simply disappear when you and your partner find yourselves in the same place at the same time again, however things don't always work out quite as neatly as you may hope. There are still a few obstacles to be aware of, even when you're together. Here are a few tips for how to keep everyone happy when the distance is gone:
- Set up realistic expectations between the two of you. Let your partner know how much time you would like to spend with them while you're both home, and ask them how much they want to spend with you. This will allow you to avoid the unpleasantness that can come with expecting that they want to spend every waking second with you, when in reality that probably won't happen.
- Set up expectations with family and friends. You are not the only person that your partner missed while you were separated, and you were also not the only person missing them. For the person who has been out of town, there will be family and friends who want to share the time that they are back. The best thing to do is to be realistic about your situation. If you are in a new or casual relationship, you should probably expect that family time will comprise much of the time the out-of-towner is home. However, if you are married, you can put your foot down with the inlaws and say, "We are a family now. We need to spend this time together."
- Don't fall into a couple coma. It can be tempting when you find yourselves together again to forget about everything else in your lives and simply shut yourselves away while you're both home. This is a bad idea. You have relied on your family and friends to get you through the tough days, and it would be rude of you to ignore them when everything is good in your life. Don't be that person who only spends time with their friends and family when you are down; let those people in your life share your good times, too. Also, make sure not to forget about school or work obligations, as this could lead to far-reaching consequences that you might not think about in the moment.
Hopefully these tips will help you get the most out of the time that have together.
