Surviving the storm: living with schizophrenia
When she walks down the street,
smiles and says "hello," you
couldn't tell this young woman
was a survivor of so many
obstacles that she was ready
to give up living all together.
sure, we can say this is not your
ordinary tale of a young woman
who became sick and had to be
hospitalized, but when is it ever?
We give money to fund research on cancer, diabetes, asthma and more, but when it comes to schizophrenia and other mental health illnesses, those who suffer are often swept under the rug with the dust bunnies.
Quietly silenced.
Quietly left alone.
Meredith (last name withheld to protect privacy) lived a life similar to many of her peers growing up. She had a normal childhood: she was happy and was involved with sports like gymnastics, swimming, volleyball and running. She loved the arts and was always very creative — "a common thread in my family," she stated.
However, her father began showing signs of schizophrenia when she was young. He became very ill by the time she was nine. Meredith began developing anxiety in high school, which led to paranoia. Regardless, it was manageable: she hid it well and suffered quietly, never knowing that the paralyzing fear she lived with daily was be a precursor for darker days to come.
Meredith began hearing voices, which said she was being watched by a colony in the sky. If she didn't look pretty or dress nicely, the voices wouldn't leave her alone.
Meredith was very attractive and didn't exhibit the "normal" signs of someone struggling with hearing voices, which is a symptom of schizophrenia. She believed that she had to always "look perfect," in her words, because if she didn't shower more than twice a day or have her makeup and outfi ts right, she would be punished by an outside force that talked to her at night and kept her awake.
She started the Fine Art program at Fanshawe in the 1990s. She did two years of schooling, took a year off to work and travel, and then went back to finish her last year. In that time, she enjoyed taking on big projects to push herself. She lived with roommates, had a cat, made great relationships and kept some old friends.
One day, when she was in bed and asked the voices to go away, they told her to cut herself "to let the voices out." If she cut herself, they said, she would be free.
So she did. But fortunately, she realized what was happening and called 911. She was rushed to the hospital at South Street and stayed there for treatment. After the treatment, she went on with her life. She held a full-time job, travelled to British Columbia on her own and eventually moved to Toronto, where she worked at an art gallery. She also continued to use her artistic background as a means of expression. She described her art as ever-evolving. It's been her canvas throughout her turbulence but also through her brightest moments. She uses this medium to express herself, however she feels, whenever she likes. "My art is much more free now: abstract, bright acrylics applied thickly on canvas," she said.
Today, Meredith takes an antipsychotic and an anti-anxiety medication when she needs it, tries to live a balanced life with a good diet and exercise and tries to eliminate stress. For others struggling with schizophrenia or any other mental illness, "Don't be afraid to reach out," she said. "I am fi ghting stigma and fi nding many people who are on board with me. Surround yourself with positive people and try to stay positive yourself. Try to keep active and remember that you are not your illness. This illness is just a part of your life, a small part. Do not let it take over!"
One of the key coping mechanisms she has learned is to ask for help when she needs it. She also relies on support from family and friends, as well as support workers who know how to help.
She challenges herself to keep busy, but healthily so, be creative and be with friends. She also tries to remain positive, a great quality that shows when you meet her!
When she's not busy creating art, she's working on websites, going for walks, going to the beach, visiting galleries and doing "you know, average stuff."
Average? Hardly.
We give money to fund research on cancer, diabetes, asthma and more, but when it comes to schizophrenia and other mental health illnesses, those who suffer are often swept under the rug with the dust bunnies.
Quietly silenced.
Quietly left alone.
Meredith (last name withheld to protect privacy) lived a life similar to many of her peers growing up. She had a normal childhood: she was happy and was involved with sports like gymnastics, swimming, volleyball and running. She loved the arts and was always very creative — "a common thread in my family," she stated.
However, her father began showing signs of schizophrenia when she was young. He became very ill by the time she was nine. Meredith began developing anxiety in high school, which led to paranoia. Regardless, it was manageable: she hid it well and suffered quietly, never knowing that the paralyzing fear she lived with daily was be a precursor for darker days to come.
Meredith began hearing voices, which said she was being watched by a colony in the sky. If she didn't look pretty or dress nicely, the voices wouldn't leave her alone.
Meredith was very attractive and didn't exhibit the "normal" signs of someone struggling with hearing voices, which is a symptom of schizophrenia. She believed that she had to always "look perfect," in her words, because if she didn't shower more than twice a day or have her makeup and outfi ts right, she would be punished by an outside force that talked to her at night and kept her awake.
She started the Fine Art program at Fanshawe in the 1990s. She did two years of schooling, took a year off to work and travel, and then went back to finish her last year. In that time, she enjoyed taking on big projects to push herself. She lived with roommates, had a cat, made great relationships and kept some old friends.
One day, when she was in bed and asked the voices to go away, they told her to cut herself "to let the voices out." If she cut herself, they said, she would be free.
So she did. But fortunately, she realized what was happening and called 911. She was rushed to the hospital at South Street and stayed there for treatment. After the treatment, she went on with her life. She held a full-time job, travelled to British Columbia on her own and eventually moved to Toronto, where she worked at an art gallery. She also continued to use her artistic background as a means of expression. She described her art as ever-evolving. It's been her canvas throughout her turbulence but also through her brightest moments. She uses this medium to express herself, however she feels, whenever she likes. "My art is much more free now: abstract, bright acrylics applied thickly on canvas," she said.
Today, Meredith takes an antipsychotic and an anti-anxiety medication when she needs it, tries to live a balanced life with a good diet and exercise and tries to eliminate stress. For others struggling with schizophrenia or any other mental illness, "Don't be afraid to reach out," she said. "I am fi ghting stigma and fi nding many people who are on board with me. Surround yourself with positive people and try to stay positive yourself. Try to keep active and remember that you are not your illness. This illness is just a part of your life, a small part. Do not let it take over!"
One of the key coping mechanisms she has learned is to ask for help when she needs it. She also relies on support from family and friends, as well as support workers who know how to help.
She challenges herself to keep busy, but healthily so, be creative and be with friends. She also tries to remain positive, a great quality that shows when you meet her!
When she's not busy creating art, she's working on websites, going for walks, going to the beach, visiting galleries and doing "you know, average stuff."
Average? Hardly.
