TERRORIST PLOT FOILED
 | The Canadian Security and Intelligence Service (CSIS) uncovered a plot to assassinate Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty. CSIS revealed that a lone guncat had been plotting to kill McGuinty after it had been revealed that McGuinty was an “Evil Reptilian Kitty Eater from Outer Space” in the last provincial election. CSIS surveillance photos show that the Cat had taken up residence in an apartment across from Queens Park and had simulated the assassination on at least two occasions before the arrest. CSIS also revealed that various bomb making apparatus had also been found, including a massive amount of kitty litter that could have been used to make a truck bomb. Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005. |
