The rise and fall of power: My adventure into dating apps
Let’s face it; our generation is very different from the ones before us. We want things now, but we don’t want to work hard, and I’m sure the so-called “Greatest Generation” is rolling in their graves because it. Being the laziest generation has its perks, with companies developing free applications to make “dating” (or booty calling) a whole lot easier.
According to Justin Mateen, co-founder of the Tinder app, 70 per cent of people using these apps are between the ages of 18 and 24, so it’s pretty clear this is a pretty widespread new way to meet people. Who wouldn’t rather talk to people through their phone wearing sweatpants and eating Cheetos than go to a club and pay $7 for some low-grade Jägerbombs?
I decided it was my job to take a look at these dating apps and expose the dirty truth of dating in the digital world.
Being on three dating apps – Tinder, Swipe and Grindr – at the same time was like having a full-time job. I was constantly switching between the apps, looking for new people and answering my messages, but I was mostly just creeping.
When I first started using these apps, I felt pretty shallow and judgmental, choosing women based on a picture and a short description. I felt so bad I didn’t even want to continue my experiment… then two minutes passed and that all changed.
These apps are not like conventional dating sites and apps, they are more like a game with the objective to be as superficial and judgmental as possible. It actually encourages you to base your decisions solely on looks, which you were told your whole life not to do. The feeling of looking at real people and getting to decide their fate made me feel like Emperor Commodus in Gladiator: a simple flick of the thumb up or down will let them live or banish them forever.
I was on a massive power high, going through hundreds of women, when it hit me. I was no emperor; these women had the exact same power as I did – they were deciding my fate with the same ease I had to decide theirs. It was a bittersweet moment; I didn’t feel so bad judging them anymore, but I had also lost my invincibility. Sure, I wouldn’t ever know if these women didn’t pick me… but if I never got any replies, wouldn’t it be the same thing?
Constantly flipping between apps and talking to people was exhausting, and after two days, I just had to delete my accounts. It was hard to give away my power, but I had to save myself and get some sunlight.
The good thing about these simple picture apps is their barebones simplicity. Online dating follows only two rules: 1. Be attractive and 2. Don’t be unattractive. Making a profile on a dating website and describing yourself is probably the most embarrassing 200 characters you’ll ever have to bullshit. With these types of apps, it’s all based on initial attraction, so it cuts through the crap of creating profiles and gets you talking.
The weirdest thing I found about going on each of these sites (and Plenty of Fish and Zoosk and Match – hey, I wanted to be thorough with my research!) was that I never encountered the same girl twice. I mean, if you’re out there looking for someone to date/hook up with, I don’t think it’s time for brand loyalty. To be successful on these sites – just like in life – you need to diversify, be different and stand out. If that doesn’t work, just keep practicing those selfie shots in the mirror until you nail your perfect duckface.
According to Justin Mateen, co-founder of the Tinder app, 70 per cent of people using these apps are between the ages of 18 and 24, so it’s pretty clear this is a pretty widespread new way to meet people. Who wouldn’t rather talk to people through their phone wearing sweatpants and eating Cheetos than go to a club and pay $7 for some low-grade Jägerbombs?
I decided it was my job to take a look at these dating apps and expose the dirty truth of dating in the digital world.
Being on three dating apps – Tinder, Swipe and Grindr – at the same time was like having a full-time job. I was constantly switching between the apps, looking for new people and answering my messages, but I was mostly just creeping.
When I first started using these apps, I felt pretty shallow and judgmental, choosing women based on a picture and a short description. I felt so bad I didn’t even want to continue my experiment… then two minutes passed and that all changed.
These apps are not like conventional dating sites and apps, they are more like a game with the objective to be as superficial and judgmental as possible. It actually encourages you to base your decisions solely on looks, which you were told your whole life not to do. The feeling of looking at real people and getting to decide their fate made me feel like Emperor Commodus in Gladiator: a simple flick of the thumb up or down will let them live or banish them forever.
I was on a massive power high, going through hundreds of women, when it hit me. I was no emperor; these women had the exact same power as I did – they were deciding my fate with the same ease I had to decide theirs. It was a bittersweet moment; I didn’t feel so bad judging them anymore, but I had also lost my invincibility. Sure, I wouldn’t ever know if these women didn’t pick me… but if I never got any replies, wouldn’t it be the same thing?
Constantly flipping between apps and talking to people was exhausting, and after two days, I just had to delete my accounts. It was hard to give away my power, but I had to save myself and get some sunlight.
The good thing about these simple picture apps is their barebones simplicity. Online dating follows only two rules: 1. Be attractive and 2. Don’t be unattractive. Making a profile on a dating website and describing yourself is probably the most embarrassing 200 characters you’ll ever have to bullshit. With these types of apps, it’s all based on initial attraction, so it cuts through the crap of creating profiles and gets you talking.
The weirdest thing I found about going on each of these sites (and Plenty of Fish and Zoosk and Match – hey, I wanted to be thorough with my research!) was that I never encountered the same girl twice. I mean, if you’re out there looking for someone to date/hook up with, I don’t think it’s time for brand loyalty. To be successful on these sites – just like in life – you need to diversify, be different and stand out. If that doesn’t work, just keep practicing those selfie shots in the mirror until you nail your perfect duckface.
