Most are familiar with the fact that skinny jeans are the newsiest trend statement for both men and women, but the over abundance of tight denim is causing health problems for some male fashion plates.

Dr. Rick Bulge, a medical professional specializing in prostrates, has seen a sharp increase in men complaining about numbness of the penis and testicles turning a shade of blue.

Through a quick survey of patients, Dr. Bulge found that each of the men was wearing the tight attire on a daily basis.

“Men don't realize that their howitzer has got to breathe, without circulation or blood flow, their manly parts just won't work properly,” the doctor said. “If they aren't careful they could cause some serious damage, to the point of becoming sterile.”

Dr. Bulge has coined the term- Banana Split- to describe the phenomenon happening in men's pants, which is a fitting term considering that is what the crotch of most of these pants look like on men that are well endowed.

While men risk their penile health, women can't seem to get enough. A Glam Mag survey revealed

Continued on B6

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Prouldy distorting the truth since 2005