Now I'm not pointing any fingers here but a lot of people did extraordinarily bad on their midterms. We could sit here all day and debate whether it was because you lost at beer pong the night before or if it was because Tim Horton's messed up your coffee order but I think we all know it's because of poor studying habits. Well it's a good thing I'm here because I won't let you repeat those midterm grades on your final exam. Just follow this checklist and you'll make honour roll for sure.

Turn your phone on. Your phone is a source of infinite knowledge and endless connections to other intelligent minds. By leaving your phone on you are apt to absorb at least a bit of this endless wealth of knowledge. Besides, rewarding yourself with 20 minute breaks of cat videos and memes after you read a paragraph of that textbook is highly motivating.

Find the perfect study spot. Think of this as a safe space, but for studying. The best spot for this is at Carey's Bar and Grill across the street from Fanshawe. Mondays are the most efficient studying days here because dollar drinks are cheaper than $3 drinks (look you're already studying for your finance course). If the bar is closed another suitable location is Oasis. Just remember that the louder your environment, the more focused your studying will be.

Skip the review lecture. Better yet, just stop showing up to class until the exams. By going to class you're taking away from valuable time that could be spent studying the effects of alcohol at the bar. Listening to everything that will be on the exam will just overwhelm you and make you anxious for the big day. It's better to live in a state of ignorant bliss and study at your own pace, rather than skimming the rubbish and focusing on what your teacher recommended. What does that guy know anyway? He's been teaching the same thing over and over for 15 years.

Get rid of your notes. It's a good habit to spill coffee or pop all over your notes about a week before the exam. If you've been using a laptop, now is the opportune time to get a computer virus from watching too much porn requiring you to wipe your hard drive. By losing your notes your brain will be more motivated to remember what you've already studied (super efficient). This technique is similar to how a brain is most motivated to start and finish a project three hours before it is due.

Give your teacher an LCBO gift card. Although this may not inherently be considered studying, by bribing your teacher you're apt to get a better mark even if you fail the exam. The reason I recommend LCBO gift cards is because teachers are apt to make stupid decisions while drunk out of their minds, like bumping up the grade of that student who got them drunk by 10, 20 or even 30 per cent.

There you have it, the five golden tactics to perfect studying. If you feel like this list was incomplete I would recommend getting the rest of your studying tips by binge-watching Stranger Things, followed by Game of Thrones and capped off with Star Wars Episode 1-7. If you would like the condensed version of the extended tip list, simply downloads Sims 4 on your laptop.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.