Wreckord Reviews: Learning math with Ed Sheeran

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Ed Sheeran should have called the (Divide) deluxe edition "Long Division".

Ed Sheeran, everybody’s favourite redheaded folk singer, is back with an impressive (exhaustive) 16 track deluxe album entitled ÷ (Divide). That’s right, he’s really capitalizing on the themes of his past few releases, which include such memorable mathematical operations as X (Multiply) and + (Plus). Thank God the world will only have to sit through three more albums, most likely titled – (Subtract), ( ) (Brackets) and Ed2 (Exponents). Maybe we’ll be lucky enough to get a greatest hits album entitled BEDMAS (PEMDAS).

Divide holds true to much of the trademark fast-talking heartbreak and bragging elements that made his earlier math equations so popular with high school students. Unfortunately Sheeran skips vital math topics such as tangent lines, parabolas and algebra as a whole. I suppose being a math advocate doesn’t mean you’re actually good at math.

The album opens with Sheeran asking the audience for an “Eraser” because apparently he forgot to bring one to class. At least we know he’s doing his math homework in pencil and not pen. He gets a few bonus points for that.

There is only one highlight track on this album that rises above the wash of acoustic guitars and production elements that lean on Justin Bieber and Shawn Mendes. In fact this highlight surpasses the rest of the album to such an extent that I won’t even talk about the other songs.

I won’t talk about the ballad-like tracks like “Perfect” or “Happier”. I’m not going to touch on the fast talking “Galway Girl” or his ode to f*** boys, “New Man”. I certainly won’t be talking about his barf-worthy “What Do I Know?” about how love can change the world. Not even his tribute to Great Big Sea, “Nancy Mulligan” will get a honourable mention.

The only track on this album worth listening to is “Shape of You”, but not for the reason you think. It’s not because it’s perhaps the most upbeat and out of place track on the entire album. It’s not because it’s the most palatable or most witty or even the most flashy. I’m talking about this track because it’s a perfect rip off of TLC’s hit “No Scrubs” from the late ‘90s.

I’m not even mad about how well these songs fit together, I just feel really nostalgic and I have to admit I groove to this track a bit. If you’d like proof just search the two song names on YouTube and you’ll be treated to half a dozen mash-ups circulating already. For a guy who’s gained his fame on being a songwriter, it’s a shame to notice him borrowing melodies from other groups but damn, he picked a good one. I don’t think there’s a single person I know who doesn’t burst out in full song and dance when “No Scrubs” comes on the radio. I want to be mad about it, but I just can’t.

All in all Divide is as bland as any other math operation. It’s not a bad album by any means, it’s just Ed Sheeran doing what Ed Sheeran has been doing for years already. He knows how to sell records and I can’t fault the guy for that. But whether you’re a fan or a hater, listen to “Shape of You” and tell me you don’t hear “No Scrubs” in your head.

Rating: 3 out of 5