Trump fathers Rosie's love child?
As the public war of words heats up between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell, a startling revelation seeped into the media that has onlookers scratching their heads.
The globally distributed Global World Exposer reports that O'Donnell is four weeks pregnant and that Trump fathered the child.
The feud between Trump and O'Donnell heated up last week on The View when an emotionally hormone charged up O'Donnell accused Trump of being a “snake-oil salesman” for the way he handled the hard-partying Miss USA affair.
An O'Donnell insider, Jennifer Carpet-Muncher, said at the time O'Donnell was really upset that Trump gave Miss USA a shoulder to cry on and that he left her rather quickly after a romantic liaison to be with Miss USA.
“After their last tryst he got up and said he had to go,” said Carpet-Muncher. “Instead of lying there in bed, cuddling and holding Rosie he got dressed hurriedly and went to meet with Miss USA. Rosie felt awful, like she was some sort of sperm depository.”
Trump didn't take kindly to O'Donnell's tirade and launched his own offensive suggesting “Rosie got mentally beaten up by me, because she's a mental midget, a low-life. I think she's got a death wish. It's too bad a degenerate is able to get away with things like that. I met (Miss USA) the night of the pageant and didn't see her again until she got into trouble.”
A Trump aid, Harry Comb-Over, said while Trump went over the top with his comments they were spurred by the sudden realization O'Donnell wasn't the ideal mistress.
“Donald was in a no win situation. Here he was bedding a woman he viewed as a ‘fat slob' and an ‘animal in bed' and he was asking himself ‘What am I doing. The Apprentice doesn't need this type of media attention', said Comb-Over. “Simply, Rosie won't be Donald's favourite mistake whether there is a child involved or not.”
Neither the Trump or O'Donnell camp will confirm that there actually is a love child between the two, but the Trump camp has indicated that if in fact O'Donnell is pregnant he will seek a paternity test to confirm whether he actually is the dad.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
The globally distributed Global World Exposer reports that O'Donnell is four weeks pregnant and that Trump fathered the child.
The feud between Trump and O'Donnell heated up last week on The View when an emotionally hormone charged up O'Donnell accused Trump of being a “snake-oil salesman” for the way he handled the hard-partying Miss USA affair.
An O'Donnell insider, Jennifer Carpet-Muncher, said at the time O'Donnell was really upset that Trump gave Miss USA a shoulder to cry on and that he left her rather quickly after a romantic liaison to be with Miss USA.
“After their last tryst he got up and said he had to go,” said Carpet-Muncher. “Instead of lying there in bed, cuddling and holding Rosie he got dressed hurriedly and went to meet with Miss USA. Rosie felt awful, like she was some sort of sperm depository.”
Trump didn't take kindly to O'Donnell's tirade and launched his own offensive suggesting “Rosie got mentally beaten up by me, because she's a mental midget, a low-life. I think she's got a death wish. It's too bad a degenerate is able to get away with things like that. I met (Miss USA) the night of the pageant and didn't see her again until she got into trouble.”
A Trump aid, Harry Comb-Over, said while Trump went over the top with his comments they were spurred by the sudden realization O'Donnell wasn't the ideal mistress.
“Donald was in a no win situation. Here he was bedding a woman he viewed as a ‘fat slob' and an ‘animal in bed' and he was asking himself ‘What am I doing. The Apprentice doesn't need this type of media attention', said Comb-Over. “Simply, Rosie won't be Donald's favourite mistake whether there is a child involved or not.”
Neither the Trump or O'Donnell camp will confirm that there actually is a love child between the two, but the Trump camp has indicated that if in fact O'Donnell is pregnant he will seek a paternity test to confirm whether he actually is the dad.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
