It was the bobbled snap that made the state of Texas cringe as fans of the Dallas Cowboys watched in horror, and could only surmise it was divine intervention that got in the way of another ‘How bout dem Cowboys' moment.


Divine is the only word that comes to mind as Catholic Shopper.com is readying to unveil their latest line of Jesus sports statues, still piping hot from the kiln. However unlike in previous versions in which Jesus was smack dab in the action, Jesus seems content to take in the action from the sidelines, refusing to get directly involved even when Tony Romo bobbled the snap on that game winning field goal attempt in an NFC Wildcard playoff game, even as Romo futilely scrambled towards a first down or even a touchdown, coming up one yard short. No, not even divine intervention could have saved the Cowboys (Jesus seems to be saying (“I give up...butterfingers!”).

It appears the figurine line is a first, as Romo will go down in sports history as the first player to say “Jesus made me fumble,” especially when most athletes always thank God for their talents whenever they have a great game.

Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.