Today’s societal climate brings a lot of unnecessary judgment. People’s life choices and preferences are viewed as taboo, with much of it happening amongst the newer generation of young adults. These judgments contributes to the already toxic social hierarchy that forces people to feel ashamed or embarrassed within their circle of friends.

Imposing irrelevant factors not only can bring people down but can also force someone to compare themselves to other friends, making them feel inferior. An easy example that can portray this is an open conversation with friends about if they’ve lost their virginity, where everyone is encouraged and reassured they won’t be judged.

Then it comes to the one person who says that they have not yet had sex, either due to personal choice or that they just haven’t had the opportunity. In the minds of most, this does not matter as it does not contribute to the overall character of that person, but there are people with the mindset that will see this information as a weapon to bully and make fun of that person.

Stigmas such as this have been rooted in our social culture for years now. People have denounced this kind of bullying left, right, and centre but it doesn’t seem to have made a massive impact.

The pressure to fit in may result in several psychological and social side effects. Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem are almost trademark feelings for those who have not yet lost their virginity at an older age. The feeling that they may be missing out on something important, or that something is wrong with them, might be relentless and as a result, could damage their mental health.

Socially, this stigma can also make people withdraw inwards. Those who have not yet lost their virginity may not converse about their sexual status for fear of being ridiculed or judged. This would contribute to the growth of feelings of loneliness and could cultivate a negative perception of virginity.

The pressure, often brought on by shame, could snowball and may later result in an individual developing unhealthy sexual behaviours, with some engaging in sexual activity before they are emotionally or physically ready, just to meet societal expectations. These experiences may be negative, which again affects not only a person’s mental health but also their future relationships with others.

Aside from forms of peer pressure or humiliation in front of friends, different mediums of media add fuel to the fire. The way virginity is depicted in the media as a form of comedy adds to the stigma that not having sex is something to be laughed at.

Social media intensifies this pressure by creating venues through which people often put up idealized versions of their lives. Often, celebrities and influencers will post bits of their personal lives, such as relationships and sexual experiences which set a certain standard for their followers. This may instill a sense of urgency in a young person’s mind to act on these perceived expectations out of fear of judgment or exclusion if they are not acted upon.

The media’s impact on this stigma is not merely superficial, as it too has deep psychological effects. A person who does not embody such ideals may develop a sense of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. Such constant comparisons may add to a negative self-image and a feeling of being left out.

There are many ways to combat a social norm like this, and it starts with personal acceptance. It means that there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, whether by choice or not. In a society controlled by strict sexual norms, the most important thing is your well-being.

Societal pressures and opinions should not dictate how an individual feels about themselves. Everybody’s journey is different, and nobody shares the same timeline of sexual milestones. The stigma related to virginity is a produced idea of society, not a touchstone of value or maturity.

Personal acceptance will start when someone rejects unrealistic expectations the media or peer pressure places on them. Personal development, real friendships, and nurturing self-esteem independent of sexual status are things that must be practiced.

Surround yourself with people who respect your choices and understand your worth, who understand your identity and know that your dignity is not linked with societal conformity. In a world that often encourages people to keep up with the rest, finding peace in personal choices is a powerful expression of self-love. Embracing the journey and letting go of pressures is the best way forward.