Ms. Guidance: Your problems solved! Finally, some real life advice...
Do you need advice about love, life, school, etiquette, grammar, or even where to get the best milkshake in town? Allow me to introduce myself. I am a cleverly anonymous Fanshawe student who has chosen to reach the masses via a write-in advice column because I truly love telling other people what to do. Instead of you all being left to answer life's riddles alone, I have emerged from the student body to offer guidance and direction. Rest your troubled minds in my able hands and you will not be disappointed. You can call me Ms. Guidance, and I would love to help you.
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I want a tattoo very, very, very badly. The problem is I don't know what I want, where to get it or where to go in London to get one. Also I've heard it can be unsafe? Help!
-Baffled By Branding
Ahhhhh yes, the over-powering lure of permanent rebellion and self expression. A growing number of our peers are giving into this temptation daily. According to statistics published by the US Centre for Disease Control(CDC), in the last 20 years the number of people getting tattoos annually has increased by hundreds of thousands, the fastest growing group of these being females age 16 to 26. So why are we all doing it? The only absolute answer is that it varies from person to person. Deciding why you want a tattoo is certainly the first logical step in getting one done and will often answer the undying question of what to get and where on your body to get it. Misguided reasoning on any decisions involving something as permanent as a tattoo often result in regret so be careful! Reasons like, “I need to express my eternal love for my college sweetheart of three weeks by tattooing their name in a heart with wings and barbed wire directly over my heart” or “How will anyone know how hardcore a (insert a flash-in-the-pan-but-ultimately-useless band's name here) fan I am unless I get Maroon5 tattooed on my forehead?” are plainly bad reasons. I shudder. Making hasty decisions can be incredibly dangerous in life as in body art. You don't want to end up with a ridiculous Jolly Roger tattoo in the middle of your chest for the rest of your life just because you wanted to look tough when you were 17, do you?
If careful consideration of your reasoning leaves you still wanting a tattoo, it's time to do your research. I suggest you buy some tattoo magazines, google “sweet tattoos” or go into tattoo parlours and thumb through their catalogues. An informed decision is rarely a bad one. The act of researching will also help you choose which tattoo artist to go to. People with tattoos will always attempt to tell you that their tattooist is the best one. There are innumerable talented artists in London and as much as I love to tell people what to do, you really should decide this one for yourself.
As for the safety of tattooing, the kind people at CDC recently published a report stating that you are 300 per cent more likely to contract HepC at the dentist than at a tattoo parlour. Besides which, there are provincial and municipal legislations in place to regulate the standards at tattoo parlours and these are strictly enforced. Despite the safety of tattooing it is always important to remember that, in the words of Squints (you know, from Sandlot?), tattoos are “FOR-EH-VUR”.
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I love my boyfriend very much but he smokes, which is icky. How do I make him stop?
-Addicted to Love
To answer this as simply as possible, you don't make him stop. In fact, if there is anything in your partner that you find “icky” enough that you seek advice on how to change it, then you are with the wrong person. Moreover, you are kind of a horrible girlfriend in the first place for dating him under the assumption that you could change the gross bits after you had him deeply in your clutches. My guess is that smoking isn't the only issue you take with this guy and that even if you do somehow “make him stop” he will only end up exhibiting numerous other disgusting afflictions in your eyes.
Quitting smoking is hard. Very hard. It is not quite as hard as perhaps kicking a nagging heroine addiction but certainly way harder then say, finding a new girlfriend. Your boyfriend has to decide for himself that it is time to quit for the betterment of his life. My advice for him is that if he has decided to do a personal health overhaul, he should also consider finding someone who loves him despite his ick-factor.
Do you need to be Ms. Guided? Email your question to ms.guidance@hotmail.com.
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I want a tattoo very, very, very badly. The problem is I don't know what I want, where to get it or where to go in London to get one. Also I've heard it can be unsafe? Help!
-Baffled By Branding
Ahhhhh yes, the over-powering lure of permanent rebellion and self expression. A growing number of our peers are giving into this temptation daily. According to statistics published by the US Centre for Disease Control(CDC), in the last 20 years the number of people getting tattoos annually has increased by hundreds of thousands, the fastest growing group of these being females age 16 to 26. So why are we all doing it? The only absolute answer is that it varies from person to person. Deciding why you want a tattoo is certainly the first logical step in getting one done and will often answer the undying question of what to get and where on your body to get it. Misguided reasoning on any decisions involving something as permanent as a tattoo often result in regret so be careful! Reasons like, “I need to express my eternal love for my college sweetheart of three weeks by tattooing their name in a heart with wings and barbed wire directly over my heart” or “How will anyone know how hardcore a (insert a flash-in-the-pan-but-ultimately-useless band's name here) fan I am unless I get Maroon5 tattooed on my forehead?” are plainly bad reasons. I shudder. Making hasty decisions can be incredibly dangerous in life as in body art. You don't want to end up with a ridiculous Jolly Roger tattoo in the middle of your chest for the rest of your life just because you wanted to look tough when you were 17, do you?
If careful consideration of your reasoning leaves you still wanting a tattoo, it's time to do your research. I suggest you buy some tattoo magazines, google “sweet tattoos” or go into tattoo parlours and thumb through their catalogues. An informed decision is rarely a bad one. The act of researching will also help you choose which tattoo artist to go to. People with tattoos will always attempt to tell you that their tattooist is the best one. There are innumerable talented artists in London and as much as I love to tell people what to do, you really should decide this one for yourself.
As for the safety of tattooing, the kind people at CDC recently published a report stating that you are 300 per cent more likely to contract HepC at the dentist than at a tattoo parlour. Besides which, there are provincial and municipal legislations in place to regulate the standards at tattoo parlours and these are strictly enforced. Despite the safety of tattooing it is always important to remember that, in the words of Squints (you know, from Sandlot?), tattoos are “FOR-EH-VUR”.
Dear Ms. Guidance,
I love my boyfriend very much but he smokes, which is icky. How do I make him stop?
-Addicted to Love
To answer this as simply as possible, you don't make him stop. In fact, if there is anything in your partner that you find “icky” enough that you seek advice on how to change it, then you are with the wrong person. Moreover, you are kind of a horrible girlfriend in the first place for dating him under the assumption that you could change the gross bits after you had him deeply in your clutches. My guess is that smoking isn't the only issue you take with this guy and that even if you do somehow “make him stop” he will only end up exhibiting numerous other disgusting afflictions in your eyes.
Quitting smoking is hard. Very hard. It is not quite as hard as perhaps kicking a nagging heroine addiction but certainly way harder then say, finding a new girlfriend. Your boyfriend has to decide for himself that it is time to quit for the betterment of his life. My advice for him is that if he has decided to do a personal health overhaul, he should also consider finding someone who loves him despite his ick-factor.
Do you need to be Ms. Guided? Email your question to ms.guidance@hotmail.com.
