Thanksgiving break-up a college tradition
It's almost that special time of the year when freshmen return to their hometowns to visit their families and gobble down their first home cooked meal in a month and a half.
With their refined college lifestyle and new mature social lives, there is only one thing left to sever from their old, juvenile high school days.
Forget what years of history class taught them about the Thanksgiving holiday. The real reason for the season is for freshmen to have a little extra time to break up with their high school sweethearts.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is called the Turkey Drop.
Turkey Drop — (v) to break up or dump a high school boyfriend or girlfriend over the Thanksgiving holiday when both participants return home from their respective colleges or universities. When Mark went home over Thanksgiving he turkey dropped his old girlfriend.
It's an age-old fact that as soon as a high school couple goes off to separate post secondary institutions their chance of survival in the sexually charged jungles of school is slim to none.
The first temptation a freshman might experience is the co-ed residence. Move-in day is like a smorgasbord of young men and women trying their best to impress everyone they meet. Just like high school, cliques and groups begin to form on the basis of fashion sense, taste in music or even which room or floor housing services placed them. Soon they will realize that the hot guy down the hall, who plays [insert varsity sport here] with the great abs and dreamy, Leonardo-esque eyes, actually smells like a wet dog most of the time and never changes his socks. Meanwhile, the guys on the floor won't take long to figure out that most girls don't look like “that” at 8am on a Friday morning after a night at GT's.
After breaking up with their long-distance significant other the freshmen must soon learn that its basically breaking Canadian criminal law to participate in “Floorcest.”
Floor'cest — (n) to date, sleep or have sexual relations with another person who lives on the same floor in a college or university residence or dormitory. Generally frowned upon. Also see Dormcest. I saw Mark and Jane making out last night. They were totally committing floorcest.
The first day of classes may also tempt many first-year students with an opportunity to stray from their loved ones in other cities. With so many young people running around campus with their freshly picked “first day of school” outfits on, it's very easy to get caught up with everything new and exciting. But as time goes on and baggy track pants replace short skirts and designer jeans, the tried and true high school boyfriend or girlfriend begins to look pretty good again.
The third September temptation occurs after hours in establishments that encourage ingesting copious amounts of alcohol, also known as liquid love. Whether it's a house party, bar, club or pub, usually around 1:30 in the morning young college students tend to seek out a significant other to make their night of drunken indulgence complete. This form of picking up may prove to be initially successful, but paralysis sets in around 3 am and all they will remember is a couple of awkward moments of groping before they both end up passing out. In the end a stranger's vomit is usually involved and they will quickly realize the walk of shame was totally not worth the whole messy disaster.
After a month of living away from home in a new city, at a new school, even an emerging adult knows what to be thankful for this holiday.
With their refined college lifestyle and new mature social lives, there is only one thing left to sever from their old, juvenile high school days.
Forget what years of history class taught them about the Thanksgiving holiday. The real reason for the season is for freshmen to have a little extra time to break up with their high school sweethearts.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is called the Turkey Drop.
Turkey Drop — (v) to break up or dump a high school boyfriend or girlfriend over the Thanksgiving holiday when both participants return home from their respective colleges or universities. When Mark went home over Thanksgiving he turkey dropped his old girlfriend.
It's an age-old fact that as soon as a high school couple goes off to separate post secondary institutions their chance of survival in the sexually charged jungles of school is slim to none.
The first temptation a freshman might experience is the co-ed residence. Move-in day is like a smorgasbord of young men and women trying their best to impress everyone they meet. Just like high school, cliques and groups begin to form on the basis of fashion sense, taste in music or even which room or floor housing services placed them. Soon they will realize that the hot guy down the hall, who plays [insert varsity sport here] with the great abs and dreamy, Leonardo-esque eyes, actually smells like a wet dog most of the time and never changes his socks. Meanwhile, the guys on the floor won't take long to figure out that most girls don't look like “that” at 8am on a Friday morning after a night at GT's.
After breaking up with their long-distance significant other the freshmen must soon learn that its basically breaking Canadian criminal law to participate in “Floorcest.”
Floor'cest — (n) to date, sleep or have sexual relations with another person who lives on the same floor in a college or university residence or dormitory. Generally frowned upon. Also see Dormcest. I saw Mark and Jane making out last night. They were totally committing floorcest.
The first day of classes may also tempt many first-year students with an opportunity to stray from their loved ones in other cities. With so many young people running around campus with their freshly picked “first day of school” outfits on, it's very easy to get caught up with everything new and exciting. But as time goes on and baggy track pants replace short skirts and designer jeans, the tried and true high school boyfriend or girlfriend begins to look pretty good again.
The third September temptation occurs after hours in establishments that encourage ingesting copious amounts of alcohol, also known as liquid love. Whether it's a house party, bar, club or pub, usually around 1:30 in the morning young college students tend to seek out a significant other to make their night of drunken indulgence complete. This form of picking up may prove to be initially successful, but paralysis sets in around 3 am and all they will remember is a couple of awkward moments of groping before they both end up passing out. In the end a stranger's vomit is usually involved and they will quickly realize the walk of shame was totally not worth the whole messy disaster.
After a month of living away from home in a new city, at a new school, even an emerging adult knows what to be thankful for this holiday.
