It was nothing but mayhem at the recent St. Paddy's Day pub at Fanshawe College. Green beer was flowing, the music was pumping, and a drunken Fanshawe student (Breckon Prest) was seen hitting on a 6'6 bird. It all started when Prest was given beads by Fanshawe's Freddy The Falcon, not knowing exactly what they were for he felt obligated to flash his new feathered friend. “Look at the tail-feathers on Falcon” commented a sloppy Prest, “ever since Sesame Street I've had this weird fetish for large birds. It was kind of weird. It all started out good, we went back to Freddy's nest in hopes of ruffling some feathers, things started happening, then Freddy took off his head and literally scared the shit right out of me; I didn't know what to think. It's like that old saying, go to bed at four with a 10 and wake up at 10 with a four. In this case, I went to bed with a huge bird and woke up with a dude in a Falcon costume. That's just freaky, but everyone needs one good college sex story, mine is just a little too twisted, even for me”.


Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.