Gold Bond puts end to jock itch
Eliminating severe jock itch for men has been a million dollar question that's never been answered, until one desperate man lathered his scrotum in a Gold Bond anti-itch cream that was originally made for feet.
“I just wanted to put an end to years of suffering and torment,” said Geoff Allison. “I was unable to sleep because the itching was always waking me up during the night. I scratch, often drawing blood. It also affected my work flipping burgers because my hands were always down my pants scratching. I couldn't even keep a girlfriend, and forget about being intimate with my nuts being a crimson red all the time. My last girlfriend thought I was beating it way too much. This has caused me untold misery.”
But then one month ago, desperate for relief Allison purchased a tube of Gold Bond Medicated Anti-Itch Cream, and found relief. Within minutes of spreading the cream on his scrotum, the itch completely quieted.
“My newest girlfriend loves it,” said Allison, “aside from the smell it hasn't stopped her from going down, and I am able to get on with the everyday business of life, and sleep for uninterrupted six to eight hour stretches. It is truly a miracle, and has proven to be the answer to my prayers.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
“I just wanted to put an end to years of suffering and torment,” said Geoff Allison. “I was unable to sleep because the itching was always waking me up during the night. I scratch, often drawing blood. It also affected my work flipping burgers because my hands were always down my pants scratching. I couldn't even keep a girlfriend, and forget about being intimate with my nuts being a crimson red all the time. My last girlfriend thought I was beating it way too much. This has caused me untold misery.”
But then one month ago, desperate for relief Allison purchased a tube of Gold Bond Medicated Anti-Itch Cream, and found relief. Within minutes of spreading the cream on his scrotum, the itch completely quieted.
“My newest girlfriend loves it,” said Allison, “aside from the smell it hasn't stopped her from going down, and I am able to get on with the everyday business of life, and sleep for uninterrupted six to eight hour stretches. It is truly a miracle, and has proven to be the answer to my prayers.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
