Dear Ms. Guidance,
I am a polite, well-spoken interesting guy and I consider myself attractive, intelligent, caring and enjoyable. Despite these qualities, every time I fall in love, I end up getting my heart broken. I always spend as much time and energy on my girlfriends as I can. I am always affectionate and generous; I couldn't possibly be a better boyfriend, and yet, I can never seem to be in a relationship that lasts longer than a few months. What am I doing wrong?
~Lovelorn

First of all, your worry that “every time” you fall in love you get heartbroken troubles me. How many times are we talking here? Because if it is several times a year or more you may need to consider a less broad definition of love. If you are misinterpreting the intensity of your attachments then that, my friend, is your problem right there. By your admission, your relationships last no longer than a few months and there are only a precious few people in this world who fall in love that quickly. It is very important to recognize the differences between fondness, lust, love, and obsession and if you don't understand these differences, it is time to take a break from the dating world to consider them. Marriage counselors and relationship experts will try to tell you that the key to a healthy relationship is communication, but I think it's more important that both parties be on the same emotional page. So, once you have distinguished what you are actually feeling, you need to question what your partner is feeling and if they are not experiencing the same levels of emotion and attachment that you are, then it is time to reconsider the partnership.

As for the personal ad you've provided for me, there is absolutely no fault in being a romantic, unless of course the girl you are with is just looking for a guy to buy her dinner and pay for her drinks but ultimately drive her home and not call too often. Similarly, being very committed and considerate in a relationship is not a crime against love by any stretch, but don't start considering yourself the very model of the modern boyfriend so quickly. You need to date a few people and observe how your prospective long-term girlfriends react to your generosity, affections, attention and all those other things you claim to bring to the relationship table. If her responses are not positive she is not the girl for you. Life is too short to continue wasting your romantic energy!

Dear Ms. Guidance,
My problem is that I cannot function in a messy space and as far as I can tell no one under the age of 25, aside from me, is capable of keeping a house clean. My current roommate told me that he was neat but by the time we were all unpacked I was the only one doing dishes, vacuuming, picking up clutter and cleaning the bathroom. I just don't know what to do. Is no one out there as clean as I am?
~Fed up With Filth

My friend, you are preaching to the choir. I could have written this question myself as I also have a chronic filthy roommate problem. Some will tell you just to choose more wisely, but no one you interview as a roommate is going to come out and say, “Yeah, I like to fry fish and cook eggs in other people's cookware without butter or oil then leave the pans on the stove along with the cooking spatter for days on end.” The screening process must be coupled by a pre-roommate agreement. This agreement should be a list of considered rules about the housework, (ie: who does what, when and how often) signed by both parties, and accompanied by a strictly enforced list of consequences resulting from breach of the pre-roommate agreement. Two examples of effective consequences are a payment of 25 cents to the party who is forced to wash a dish out of turn by the party who should have been washing the dish; and the relocation of any out of place clutter or garbage to the bed of the party who left it lying about. Living with others is not an easy task and compromise is an essential part of making it work. However, no one should ever have to compromise all of their comforts in favour of keeping a harmonious household. Do not think for a second that basic cleanliness is too much to ask of someone. Lay down the housekeeping rules and stick to your guns or else you will have a self-study training program for Molly Maid instead of a home.

Dear Ms.Guidance,
How do I choose a melon that is ripe?
~Melon-choly

If the button on the end is hard or brown you best put that melon down. If the button is soft and pushes in just right, baby, your melon is perfectly ripe.

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