I've been living in my own various apartments for a few years now, and I've lived with a motley crew of messy, irresponsible boys. And one thing I've learned from the experience is that all boys are messy and make terrible roommates. This is one rule that has no exception; its just proven over and over and over...

Take roommates #1 and 2 - Tim and Jody. Great guys, really. Knew everything about movies, great with a barbeque, and not bad looking. Neither one of them were aware that someone has to actually clean the housse. After a few months of trying to teach them how to operate a vacuum, I gave up and became the apartment maid. They were lucky they were fun, or I would have been leaving dirty dishes on their pillows.


Roommate #3 - Adrien. I lived with him for three months in the summer of 2003. He was an Australian hockey player (I know girls, I know. But it wasn't as good as it sounds, trust me.) I'm still getting calls from creditors looking for him because he neglected to pay every bill he ever received. And apparently he owes Rogers video about $5 million in late fees, plus the costs of a mysteriously vanished xBox, which he wanted to use my credit card to rent. good thing I was broke.

Roommate #4 - Mitch. Photography student with a huge ego and an overprotective mother. This kid went home every weekend so his mom could do his laundry, and would return with a giant Tupperware container filled with spaghetti that he would eat all week. It was weird. Needless to say, he wasn't much help with a bottle of Lysol.

Roommate #5 - Shannon. Great roomie. Clean and quiet but fun to party with. The major difference between #5 and all the rest? She was a girl. I rest my case.