Bunnies stunned by loot bag vibrator
A Fleming area mother is hopping mad after her little bunny rabbits got a big surprise in their loot bags Halloween night.
Vicky Tremors was appalled when her kids pulled a vibrator out of their loot bags after leaving the doorstep of a known student residence. The kids were disappointed that no Snickers or Mr. Big chocolate bars were part of the booty. An angry and appalled Tremors marched up to the door to voice her displeasure.
“The person at the door was shocked that I was even complaining about this,” said Tremors. “She said to me in all seriousness that she ran out of candy and that she was parting with a gift that would keep on giving, and that the toy was hardly used, came with batteries installed and she had just washed it after using it.”
The ‘she' in question is Mona Lotta, a first year general arts student, who thought her panicked drop into the loot bag was clever.
“I ran out of candy,” she said. “I saw two bunnies, what do bunnies like to do? I thought the vibrator would be perfect, and mom can use it too. It's going to save that mother some heartache if you know what I mean.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
Vicky Tremors was appalled when her kids pulled a vibrator out of their loot bags after leaving the doorstep of a known student residence. The kids were disappointed that no Snickers or Mr. Big chocolate bars were part of the booty. An angry and appalled Tremors marched up to the door to voice her displeasure.
“The person at the door was shocked that I was even complaining about this,” said Tremors. “She said to me in all seriousness that she ran out of candy and that she was parting with a gift that would keep on giving, and that the toy was hardly used, came with batteries installed and she had just washed it after using it.”
The ‘she' in question is Mona Lotta, a first year general arts student, who thought her panicked drop into the loot bag was clever.
“I ran out of candy,” she said. “I saw two bunnies, what do bunnies like to do? I thought the vibrator would be perfect, and mom can use it too. It's going to save that mother some heartache if you know what I mean.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
