The presents had barely been laid under the tree before Bernard Hill, a grandpa of six, tore into one addressed to him.

“I couldn't wait,” explained Hill. “I had this feeling that the one thing that I really wanted was under that tree for me. I was so excited with anticipation.”

Hill, who lives with one of his daughters and her family was subsequently caught by two of his grandchildren and his daughter amid wrapping paper, an open box and his lips pressed firmly to the blow up dolls inflation nozzle. Amid all the confusion Hill's daughter, Nancy Backstrom, wondered where the gift had come from.

Backstrom's amused husband denied involvement, and so did the teenaged grandchild, but Hill was over the top with joy.

Upon closer inspection, Hill's daughter discovered that the gift tag was in her father's hand writing and that the gift was a self gift.

“I bought it for myself,” admitted Hill. “What's wrong with that.


Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.