Cops help bring in the New Year on Fleming
If the college was resolving to do all it can to put an end to the shenanigans on Fleming Drive, consider that resolution failed just moments after Dick Clark ushered in the New Year in New York.
As many as 16 police cruisers descended on Fleming Drive just minutes after midnight, sirens and horns a blazing lighting up the night sky like fireworks. The only thing missing was confetti. Police were responding to reports of an intruder brandishing a gun trying to crash a party.
Just before midnight a 911 call was placed from a residence on Fleming Drive saying that windows were being broken and that someone had a gun. then at midnight a second call was placed saying the home was being attacked.
The first two officers to reach the scene found a man running from the home, said a police spokesperson.
One officer brought the man to the ground where he refused to put his hands behind his back, trying to break free, before the second officer helped restrain him. The officers found a pair of scissors on the man, and then questioned his intelligence about running with scissors and the potential for injury, especially since they were not safety scissors.
Complicating matters for the other officers on scene was the lack of cooperation from the hosts and the guests of the party, who refused to help, leaving police unable to track down a gun.
“We arrive to help out and nobody wants to help us out,” said one of the officers. “They say there are some dull brains that go to college, and I think we came across a herd of them tonight. Maybe if their was a gun and one of them had gotten shot they would be more forthcoming. I just don't understand this mentality that they think they are ratting on someone.”
Officials at the college declined to comment on the record, but there are suggestions that a resolution to eat less, lose weight and workout more would have been easier to keep than having police visit Fleming Drive to break up party's and other hooliganism in 2008.
Better luck next year.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
As many as 16 police cruisers descended on Fleming Drive just minutes after midnight, sirens and horns a blazing lighting up the night sky like fireworks. The only thing missing was confetti. Police were responding to reports of an intruder brandishing a gun trying to crash a party.
Just before midnight a 911 call was placed from a residence on Fleming Drive saying that windows were being broken and that someone had a gun. then at midnight a second call was placed saying the home was being attacked.
The first two officers to reach the scene found a man running from the home, said a police spokesperson.
One officer brought the man to the ground where he refused to put his hands behind his back, trying to break free, before the second officer helped restrain him. The officers found a pair of scissors on the man, and then questioned his intelligence about running with scissors and the potential for injury, especially since they were not safety scissors.
Complicating matters for the other officers on scene was the lack of cooperation from the hosts and the guests of the party, who refused to help, leaving police unable to track down a gun.
“We arrive to help out and nobody wants to help us out,” said one of the officers. “They say there are some dull brains that go to college, and I think we came across a herd of them tonight. Maybe if their was a gun and one of them had gotten shot they would be more forthcoming. I just don't understand this mentality that they think they are ratting on someone.”
Officials at the college declined to comment on the record, but there are suggestions that a resolution to eat less, lose weight and workout more would have been easier to keep than having police visit Fleming Drive to break up party's and other hooliganism in 2008.
Better luck next year.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is intentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
