Thankfully we don't have to vote
The Republican candidates make our politicians look sane
Following the US Presidential primary race the past week has reaffirmed my faith in Canadian politics. All it took was watching the Republican candidates debate issues like supporting the war on terror, the causes of terrorism, illegal immigration, foreign policy, the economy and God/Jesus' role in the whole process, to make me appreciate our comparatively sane political process.
Stephen Harper may be a mean geek with an obsessive need to control his party's elected members and the public's access to them, but he's a complete amateur compared to ghouls like Rudy Giuliani, and slick toothpaste commercial actors like Mitt Romney.
Then there's the religious factor.
Harper may well believe in God, but at least he isn't a holy warrior in the mould of Mike Huckabee, who recently said that the dragons described in Genesis could have drowned in Noah's flood. That's Huckabee's explanation for dinosaurs, and, by implication, the Christian refutation of evolution.
Make no mistake, for all the smiles and handshaking, the circus atmosphere and round the clock coverage, the race to become President of the US is a deadly serious matter.
Take Rudy Giuliani. Famous for keeping New York City together during the events of September 11, Giuliani then went on to make a fortune peddling himself as a post-9-11 security and leadership consultant, often mixing business partnerships and public security contracts. He rushed the clean up of the twin towers, a toxic stew of rubble and chemicals that has led to a “World Trade Center Cough” epidemic amongst ground zero clean-up personnel. Not that this stops Giuliani from dragging September 11 into the conversation whenever possible.
Romney looks like a perfect politician. He could be 40-year- old, or a fit 60-plus, it's hard to tell. Christian voters are leery of Romney because he's a Mormon, a religious offshoot that core Christians consider a cult. Rounding out his political profile, he has flip-flopped on social issues like abortion and gay rights, becoming much more intolerant and therefore more hard-line-Republican friendly in the process.
Romney has been attacked most strongly by the Baptist Reverend Huckabee, who has surprised most observers with his popularity. Though he came in a distant third in the New Hamphshire primary, Huckabee earlier won in Iowa, and appears to have the evangelical Christian vote sewn up tighter than the Shroud of Turin.
Huckabee is a former Arkansas governor who plays an instrument, the bass, recalling visions of Bill Clinton. Money conscious Republicans fear Huckabee because he raised taxes to pay for government programs in Arkansas, a double whammy of Commie pinko-ism to the typically free trade pro-business Republican faithful. Huckabee is definitely the best speaker of the bunch and he deflects social issues well, as evidenced by his performance on “Real Time With Bill Maher” last year.
Rounding out the field of Republican candidates are former actor Fred Thompson, most well known for his Hunt For Red October line: “Son, Russians don't take a crap without a plan.” Now better known as failed presidential candidate, having not performed well in either Iowa or New Hampshire.
Then there's Ron Paul, an oddball Libertarian and old-style US isolationist who simply does not believe in the value of publicly funded services. Paul is best known for having an intelligent, common sense approach to pot laws, and for being the single Republican candidate opposed to the war in Iraq from the beginning. Paul is routinely laughed at by his fellow candidates for not toeing the conservative line that Muslims hate America for its freedoms. He blames years of misguided foreign policy for America's current status of perpetual war. Paul has, somewhat predictably, not done well.
Then there's John McCain, who, with respect to older folks, looks like he should be sitting in a rocking chair on a porch in Arizona. McCain almost beat out Dubya Bush eight years ago for the nomination, and it's simply not fun to think about how the world would be different today if McCain had managed to best Dub. He won in New Hampshire, and most observers credit his unwavering support for the troops on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan for his success. He holds the ultimate moral high ground on military matters, being the only soldier of the bunch, and for having been captured and tortured by the Vietcong. However, McCain favours amnesty for illegal immigrants currently working in the US, another Republican no-no along the lines of supporting queer rights and a woman's right to choose.
The nomination is currently up for grabs. God only knows who'll win.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
Following the US Presidential primary race the past week has reaffirmed my faith in Canadian politics. All it took was watching the Republican candidates debate issues like supporting the war on terror, the causes of terrorism, illegal immigration, foreign policy, the economy and God/Jesus' role in the whole process, to make me appreciate our comparatively sane political process.
Stephen Harper may be a mean geek with an obsessive need to control his party's elected members and the public's access to them, but he's a complete amateur compared to ghouls like Rudy Giuliani, and slick toothpaste commercial actors like Mitt Romney.
Then there's the religious factor.
Harper may well believe in God, but at least he isn't a holy warrior in the mould of Mike Huckabee, who recently said that the dragons described in Genesis could have drowned in Noah's flood. That's Huckabee's explanation for dinosaurs, and, by implication, the Christian refutation of evolution.
Make no mistake, for all the smiles and handshaking, the circus atmosphere and round the clock coverage, the race to become President of the US is a deadly serious matter.
Take Rudy Giuliani. Famous for keeping New York City together during the events of September 11, Giuliani then went on to make a fortune peddling himself as a post-9-11 security and leadership consultant, often mixing business partnerships and public security contracts. He rushed the clean up of the twin towers, a toxic stew of rubble and chemicals that has led to a “World Trade Center Cough” epidemic amongst ground zero clean-up personnel. Not that this stops Giuliani from dragging September 11 into the conversation whenever possible.
Romney looks like a perfect politician. He could be 40-year- old, or a fit 60-plus, it's hard to tell. Christian voters are leery of Romney because he's a Mormon, a religious offshoot that core Christians consider a cult. Rounding out his political profile, he has flip-flopped on social issues like abortion and gay rights, becoming much more intolerant and therefore more hard-line-Republican friendly in the process.
Romney has been attacked most strongly by the Baptist Reverend Huckabee, who has surprised most observers with his popularity. Though he came in a distant third in the New Hamphshire primary, Huckabee earlier won in Iowa, and appears to have the evangelical Christian vote sewn up tighter than the Shroud of Turin.
Huckabee is a former Arkansas governor who plays an instrument, the bass, recalling visions of Bill Clinton. Money conscious Republicans fear Huckabee because he raised taxes to pay for government programs in Arkansas, a double whammy of Commie pinko-ism to the typically free trade pro-business Republican faithful. Huckabee is definitely the best speaker of the bunch and he deflects social issues well, as evidenced by his performance on “Real Time With Bill Maher” last year.
Rounding out the field of Republican candidates are former actor Fred Thompson, most well known for his Hunt For Red October line: “Son, Russians don't take a crap without a plan.” Now better known as failed presidential candidate, having not performed well in either Iowa or New Hampshire.
Then there's Ron Paul, an oddball Libertarian and old-style US isolationist who simply does not believe in the value of publicly funded services. Paul is best known for having an intelligent, common sense approach to pot laws, and for being the single Republican candidate opposed to the war in Iraq from the beginning. Paul is routinely laughed at by his fellow candidates for not toeing the conservative line that Muslims hate America for its freedoms. He blames years of misguided foreign policy for America's current status of perpetual war. Paul has, somewhat predictably, not done well.
Then there's John McCain, who, with respect to older folks, looks like he should be sitting in a rocking chair on a porch in Arizona. McCain almost beat out Dubya Bush eight years ago for the nomination, and it's simply not fun to think about how the world would be different today if McCain had managed to best Dub. He won in New Hampshire, and most observers credit his unwavering support for the troops on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan for his success. He holds the ultimate moral high ground on military matters, being the only soldier of the bunch, and for having been captured and tortured by the Vietcong. However, McCain favours amnesty for illegal immigrants currently working in the US, another Republican no-no along the lines of supporting queer rights and a woman's right to choose.
The nomination is currently up for grabs. God only knows who'll win.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
