Urinal etiquette breach leads to assualt
A Fanshawe College student punched a fellow student twice at a Student Union toilet because he committed “a breach of urinal etiquette,” a College and Student Union disciplinary tribunal was told.
Johnny Loo, 21, pleaded no contest to assault and the tribunal told him: “This sort of behaviour would be considered immature in teenagers or young children. This is the sort of behaviour that makes people afraid to glance around in washroom while relieving themselves.”
College Special Constable Grant Butcher said the victim had visited Forwell Hall with friends during a Mardi Gras pub.
When he went to the toilet, he used a urinal next to Loo who accused him of looking at him and punched him twice in the face for the transgression.
Loo's counsel Jean Biggs told the tribunal: “This incident arose from a breach of what I understand to be urinal etiquette.
“When (the victim) spoke to Mr. Loo he was effectively smirking. Mr. Loo was outraged and felt that the size of his manhood had come under question. Let me assure the tribunal that the size of Mr. Loo's manhood is more than quite adequate, and if it pleases the tribunal Mr. Loo has agreed to display his manhood publicly this one time.”
Asked to further explain urinal etiquette to the mostly female tribunal, Biggs directed the group to http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php
Biggs highlighted to the tribunal parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This isn't a clubhouse.
- Absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.
- NO Singing. Period.
- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only...“Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again.”
The tribunal sentenced Loo to 50 hours of campus community work that includes picking up cigarette butts, disinfecting urinals, changing the pink pucks in urinals. In addition Loo will have to spend 100 working hours in the Athletics Department, despite Loo's request that “I would rather have 300 hours of scrubbing campus urinals then 100 hours in Athletics. That is cruel and unusual.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
Johnny Loo, 21, pleaded no contest to assault and the tribunal told him: “This sort of behaviour would be considered immature in teenagers or young children. This is the sort of behaviour that makes people afraid to glance around in washroom while relieving themselves.”
College Special Constable Grant Butcher said the victim had visited Forwell Hall with friends during a Mardi Gras pub.
When he went to the toilet, he used a urinal next to Loo who accused him of looking at him and punched him twice in the face for the transgression.
Loo's counsel Jean Biggs told the tribunal: “This incident arose from a breach of what I understand to be urinal etiquette.
“When (the victim) spoke to Mr. Loo he was effectively smirking. Mr. Loo was outraged and felt that the size of his manhood had come under question. Let me assure the tribunal that the size of Mr. Loo's manhood is more than quite adequate, and if it pleases the tribunal Mr. Loo has agreed to display his manhood publicly this one time.”
Asked to further explain urinal etiquette to the mostly female tribunal, Biggs directed the group to http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php
Biggs highlighted to the tribunal parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This isn't a clubhouse.
- Absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.
- NO Singing. Period.
- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only...“Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again.”
The tribunal sentenced Loo to 50 hours of campus community work that includes picking up cigarette butts, disinfecting urinals, changing the pink pucks in urinals. In addition Loo will have to spend 100 working hours in the Athletics Department, despite Loo's request that “I would rather have 300 hours of scrubbing campus urinals then 100 hours in Athletics. That is cruel and unusual.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
