Bingo mix-up rocks church, Shack
A local church group was shocked this past week after a mix-up resulted in them attending Sex Toy Bingo in the Out Back Shack.
Several parishioners from the Our Lady of Peace Church were on their way to a weekly bingo game at the Forest City Legion. Unfortunately, their usual bus driver had the night off, and his replacement ended up driving them to the wrong location.
“It wasn't so bad at first,” said parishioner Bea McClure. “The nice young people at the front door showed us to our seats, right near the front of the stage. They told us it was free, which is very good, as most of us are living on a fixed income. The evening started off lovely, but then…”
Bea broke into tears as she described the events that followed.
“It was terrible, they weren't playing for money at all, and the prizes were all filthy. Brassieres, dirty films, sexual ointments, that's the sort of thing they were giving out to the children. And those youngsters were eating it up, hooting and hollering. God have mercy on their souls.”
While most of the parishioners echoed Mrs. McClure's sentiments, some of them were said to be enjoying themselves.
“Look at what I scored,” proudly proclaimed Dougall Maguire, while holding a copy of the DVD “Sexy Promiscuous Ladies in Anal Heat Volume 12” and some butt plugs. “I never win anything at the Legion. I'm sorry if this upsets Father Flanaghan and the rest of the parishioners, but the Out Back Shack is my new bingo home.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
Several parishioners from the Our Lady of Peace Church were on their way to a weekly bingo game at the Forest City Legion. Unfortunately, their usual bus driver had the night off, and his replacement ended up driving them to the wrong location.
“It wasn't so bad at first,” said parishioner Bea McClure. “The nice young people at the front door showed us to our seats, right near the front of the stage. They told us it was free, which is very good, as most of us are living on a fixed income. The evening started off lovely, but then…”
Bea broke into tears as she described the events that followed.
“It was terrible, they weren't playing for money at all, and the prizes were all filthy. Brassieres, dirty films, sexual ointments, that's the sort of thing they were giving out to the children. And those youngsters were eating it up, hooting and hollering. God have mercy on their souls.”
While most of the parishioners echoed Mrs. McClure's sentiments, some of them were said to be enjoying themselves.
“Look at what I scored,” proudly proclaimed Dougall Maguire, while holding a copy of the DVD “Sexy Promiscuous Ladies in Anal Heat Volume 12” and some butt plugs. “I never win anything at the Legion. I'm sorry if this upsets Father Flanaghan and the rest of the parishioners, but the Out Back Shack is my new bingo home.”
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious. Proudly distorting the truth since 2005.
