“The Conservative government, which is on the verge of launching a national election campaign, has pledged $8.8-billion as part of 293 announcements in the last three months, according to figures released Friday by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation.”
“Tax watchdog criticizes pre-election 'spender bender',” National Post, September 5, 2008.

Roll out the barrel - it's Pork-tober fest across Canada. This event is more commonly known in Canada as a federal election. When votes are to be had, and control of the country is in question, you can be sure that the greenbacks will start flying sooner or later.

Not so long ago - 2006 to be exact - the Conservative Party was winning the hearts of Canadians by bashing the Liberal Party for its annual cash tossing parties. The Liberal technique was flawless.

When they took control of the country in the 1990s there was a sizeable federal debt load. That meant that for every dollar of tax the government took in, a chunk of it went to pay down the interest on money the government owed. It was like running up your credit card and only being able to pay the minimum monthly. Not a good way to run a country's business.

This situation posed a problem for the Liberals during elections. They solved this by campaigning on voter friendly initiatives, like education and health care, and once in power they'd cut funding to those very same programs while ignoring election promises to cut taxes. The Libs cut funding to the military, and hacked away at cultural programs, while then Prime Minister Jean Chretien insisted that he'd never promised to get rid of the GST, the federal sales tax brought in by the previous leader, conservative Brian Mulroney. Of course, Chretien had promised exactly that, many times, over and over again, in print and broadcast media. But he was an older gentleman, a polished politician, so he was able to conveniently forget those words once he was established in Ottawa as the head of successive fat majority governments.

The genius of the Liberal plan was that although they claimed the country needed to balance the budget, to reduce debt, they also amazingly came up with immense “Surprise!” surpluses at exactly the right times. These “surplus” funds would then be kicked back to the taxpayers as social program injections. An amazing trick when you think about it. Tax the shit out of people, cut funding to health care, then hold giant press heavy parties where you give back a percentage of the money while shaking hands and cutting ribbons to introduce three new MRI machines in Newfoundland, while cameras clicked and trained seals applauded in the background. This is how the immensely wealthy Paul Martin made his political reputation, all while quietly moving his family's money to offshore tax havens in the Bahamas.

There's little difference to the song being sung by Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party in 2008. Not according to the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, a group which London-Fanshawe Conservative candidate, Mary Lou Ambrogio, used to work for. When asked what she thought of her former employer dissing her current boss, Ambrogio said: “They [The Taxpayers watchdog] are doing their job.”

Give Ambrogio credit for not ducking the question. But it's really hard for even drunken Fleming stoners to ignore that the Conservatives are pulling the same tricks as the Liberals did to gain successive majorities. Lie, in other words.

Toss money off the back of a fast moving campaign bus at every stop, with bright eyed and beautiful young Conservatives wearing t-shirts and perfect smiles in the background. This is what happened when Harper was in London last Friday, September 12. He couldn't be bothered to speak to local media, but there was a nice press release about “Economic Certainty For Southern Ontario” and media were allowed to listen to his speech.

Harper was introduced by Elgin- Middlesex-London MP Joe Preston, who maybe should have asked his boss what to do in his economically depressed riding instead of singing the PM's praises. Clearly Preston needs to get into the spirit of Pork-toberfest.

PS, don't forget to vote.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.