Even chimps can make plans
Santino is a 31-year-old chimpanzee who lives at the Furuvik Zoo, in Sweden. Scientists were stunned to discover that Santino had been collecting rocks to throw at visitors. Apparently his aim isn't that great, and he only chucks rocks at humans, not his fellow apes.
“These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way,” said the author of the report, Lund University PhD student Mathias Osvath. “It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events.”
I think Santino should be hired as a consultant for the Federal and Ontario governments, and maybe the Ivey Biz School at UWO. Maybe he could teach them all about stockpiling valuable resources and keeping an eye peeled for tomorrow. That's assuming that politicians and businesspeople are actually capable of learning and planning on the same level as a chimp.
Santino could start with the McGuinty Liberals, and the case study of the auto industry. I'm sure Santino would have advised the Libs to deal with the crumbling auto sector before GM and Chrysler were on the verge of bankruptcy. Santino would probably have quesitoned why the province was kicking money to GM for years while jobs were slowly being whittled away. And when other auto sector companies were busy building plants in Mexico that were identical to the ones in Ontario, Santino may wonder why no one in Queen's Park noticed. It's not as if they were stuck in a cage at the Toronto Zoo or anything. The hairy consultant would likely come to the conclusion that our provincial representatives have failed to evolve with the times.
He'd probably conclude the same about the Harper Conservatives. Santino would likely begin with cutting the GST last year. He'd ask why, then chuck a rock at the Prime Minister and Finance Minister Jim Flaherty. Santino knows that the federal government spends gobs of money and that a steady stream of revenue is important to any big government.
Santino would probably be polite enough to not point out the resource revenue - ie, oil - that powers Canada's economy will eventually disappear. So why not plan for the future while the oil dollars are still flowing?
No doubt Santino would reserve his biggest and sharpest rocks to toss at business leaders, like the people teaching at Ivey. The same people who neglect to mention the gap between rich and poor across the globe is growing... but of course it's not their fault the system is flawed. So why not let MBAs run the economy into the ground and then convince everyone big business needs to be bailed out by taxpayers. Buy those toxic assets! They'll be worthless otherwise!
Then again, maybe Santino has too much common sense to work with the Feds, the province, or Ivey. Maybe it's the rest of us who could learn from Santino. Most of us aren't allowed within touching distance of our business and political leaders. So maybe a nice pile of rocks is the only way to reach out beyond our cages and touch someone who doesn't care.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
“These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way,” said the author of the report, Lund University PhD student Mathias Osvath. “It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events.”
I think Santino should be hired as a consultant for the Federal and Ontario governments, and maybe the Ivey Biz School at UWO. Maybe he could teach them all about stockpiling valuable resources and keeping an eye peeled for tomorrow. That's assuming that politicians and businesspeople are actually capable of learning and planning on the same level as a chimp.
Santino could start with the McGuinty Liberals, and the case study of the auto industry. I'm sure Santino would have advised the Libs to deal with the crumbling auto sector before GM and Chrysler were on the verge of bankruptcy. Santino would probably have quesitoned why the province was kicking money to GM for years while jobs were slowly being whittled away. And when other auto sector companies were busy building plants in Mexico that were identical to the ones in Ontario, Santino may wonder why no one in Queen's Park noticed. It's not as if they were stuck in a cage at the Toronto Zoo or anything. The hairy consultant would likely come to the conclusion that our provincial representatives have failed to evolve with the times.
He'd probably conclude the same about the Harper Conservatives. Santino would likely begin with cutting the GST last year. He'd ask why, then chuck a rock at the Prime Minister and Finance Minister Jim Flaherty. Santino knows that the federal government spends gobs of money and that a steady stream of revenue is important to any big government.
Santino would probably be polite enough to not point out the resource revenue - ie, oil - that powers Canada's economy will eventually disappear. So why not plan for the future while the oil dollars are still flowing?
No doubt Santino would reserve his biggest and sharpest rocks to toss at business leaders, like the people teaching at Ivey. The same people who neglect to mention the gap between rich and poor across the globe is growing... but of course it's not their fault the system is flawed. So why not let MBAs run the economy into the ground and then convince everyone big business needs to be bailed out by taxpayers. Buy those toxic assets! They'll be worthless otherwise!
Then again, maybe Santino has too much common sense to work with the Feds, the province, or Ivey. Maybe it's the rest of us who could learn from Santino. Most of us aren't allowed within touching distance of our business and political leaders. So maybe a nice pile of rocks is the only way to reach out beyond our cages and touch someone who doesn't care.
Editorial opinions or comments expressed in this online edition of Interrobang newspaper reflect the views of the writer and are not those of the Interrobang or the Fanshawe Student Union. The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd., P.O. Box 7005, London, Ontario, N5Y 5R6 and distributed through the Fanshawe College community. Letters to the editor are welcome. All letters are subject to editing and should be emailed. All letters must be accompanied by contact information. Letters can also be submitted online by clicking here.
