Threat to President heightens security
The light above the Fanshawe Student Union (FSU) office flashes red, not only is it an exit sign but it also serves the dual purpose of acting as the FSU's terrorist alert beacon.
The light has been flashing red for well over a week now as the FSU has reason to believe that the FSU president is in imminent danger based on communications intercepted at reception. While the FSU has released little detail on said communication, apparently it has sparked the FSU to heighten security.
“The threat comes from Algonquin College. It arises directly from Algonquin's student associations own actions — its history of aggression, and its drive toward domination of CSA,” said a spokesperson for the FSU president's office. “Eleven years ago, as a condition for being accepted as a member of OCCSPA (now CSA), Algonquin was required to cease all attempts to work solely for its own benefit and to work collectively within OCCSPA. The Algonquin regime has violated all of those obligations. It practices terror against members of CSA in attempts to have its own way. We wouldn't have as big a problem with Algonquin if these acts of aggression were against the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS), but that is not the case. The entire CSA world has witnessed Algonquin's 11-year history of defiance, deception and bad faith.
In an effort to protect the FSU president a security detail has been hired to protect Ms. President around the clock. Those close to the situation have noticed the presence of security in the Rectangular Office on a daily basis. Security has also been searching for any possible internal security breaches, and has been seen doing building sweeps to insure the president's safety. While the FSU has clearly signaled Algonquin as the most obvious threat, others have not been quick to rush to judgment.
“We have reason to believe that the threatening notes Ms. President has been receiving may be coming from an internal source,” said head of security Jimmie Robertson, charged with protecting the president, and affectionately called The Bodyguard by staffers. “We will not speculate at this time on who may or may not be a suspect at this time.”
While security continues to investigate, an apparent power struggle recently come to light may be the ignition for tension in the Rectangular Office. Office gossip suggests that the FSU VP Internal, who remains one heart beat away from assuming office has her eyes on the big comfy decision making chair. Even more distressing is that Ms. President and the VP Internal have a relationship some would describe as sisterly.
The Bodyguard has ruffled the feathers of most of Ms. President's entourage by tightening security more than they feel is necessary. Some are also speculating The Bodyguard and Ms. President have started an affair, what with secret liaisons, closed door meetings and red faced exits.
“I will not rest until we uncover the truth. I will be a continuing presence in the FSU Office as a deterrent to anyone who is thinking of doing no good,” said The Bodyguard.
Ms. President failed to return calls as of press time.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
The light has been flashing red for well over a week now as the FSU has reason to believe that the FSU president is in imminent danger based on communications intercepted at reception. While the FSU has released little detail on said communication, apparently it has sparked the FSU to heighten security.
“The threat comes from Algonquin College. It arises directly from Algonquin's student associations own actions — its history of aggression, and its drive toward domination of CSA,” said a spokesperson for the FSU president's office. “Eleven years ago, as a condition for being accepted as a member of OCCSPA (now CSA), Algonquin was required to cease all attempts to work solely for its own benefit and to work collectively within OCCSPA. The Algonquin regime has violated all of those obligations. It practices terror against members of CSA in attempts to have its own way. We wouldn't have as big a problem with Algonquin if these acts of aggression were against the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS), but that is not the case. The entire CSA world has witnessed Algonquin's 11-year history of defiance, deception and bad faith.
In an effort to protect the FSU president a security detail has been hired to protect Ms. President around the clock. Those close to the situation have noticed the presence of security in the Rectangular Office on a daily basis. Security has also been searching for any possible internal security breaches, and has been seen doing building sweeps to insure the president's safety. While the FSU has clearly signaled Algonquin as the most obvious threat, others have not been quick to rush to judgment.
“We have reason to believe that the threatening notes Ms. President has been receiving may be coming from an internal source,” said head of security Jimmie Robertson, charged with protecting the president, and affectionately called The Bodyguard by staffers. “We will not speculate at this time on who may or may not be a suspect at this time.”
While security continues to investigate, an apparent power struggle recently come to light may be the ignition for tension in the Rectangular Office. Office gossip suggests that the FSU VP Internal, who remains one heart beat away from assuming office has her eyes on the big comfy decision making chair. Even more distressing is that Ms. President and the VP Internal have a relationship some would describe as sisterly.
The Bodyguard has ruffled the feathers of most of Ms. President's entourage by tightening security more than they feel is necessary. Some are also speculating The Bodyguard and Ms. President have started an affair, what with secret liaisons, closed door meetings and red faced exits.
“I will not rest until we uncover the truth. I will be a continuing presence in the FSU Office as a deterrent to anyone who is thinking of doing no good,” said The Bodyguard.
Ms. President failed to return calls as of press time.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.
